A Scatterbrain's Journey to Maturity

Being a Working Mom

2012-02-13T10:56:00.010+05:30

** DISCLAIMER**

I really appreciate Stay at home moms and their dedication. I do not mean to say that one is easier or better than the other. Please understand that in this post I am only talking about my situation, and not anyone else's.

It's funny that almost all the "Mommy Blogs" I follow daily are of Stay-at-home moms. (SAHM). Making the decision to continue working after Nanma was born was not easy. And for a long time I swayed back and forth between guilt and confidence in my decision to work.

To understand my story, we need to back track a bit. Motherhood was something I wanted to experience right from childhood. Somewhere along the line between a kindergartner and a college student, the desire to become a teacher crept in and took a firm hold. My grandfathers on both sides were living examples for me of people who answered their 'calling' and lived by faith.

People outside my family expected me to follow in my family's footsteps and become a doctor. But very soon it was apparent to me that being a teacher was my calling. I've mentioned countless times before on this blog that I love my job as an elementary teacher. So when I got pregnant, the question of quitting and becoming a SAHM came about. (The recession was in full swing and my husband's job security was at an all time low.)I felt myself being torn in two directions. After much prayer and with the support of my excellent family, most of all my awesome mother in law, I decided to continue working.

Funnily enough, Christians I admired turned around and began criticizing me for my decision. This hurt. . . .very badly. They told me I was neglecting my duty by working. I was ridden with guilt every time I had to leave home early and Nanma cried out for me. The first few months back to work were torturous in some ways.

Slowly I began realising that this is indeed what God had called me to be. A wife, mother and teacher. I have fixed working hours. I am back home by 4:30 latest. We have scheduled Nanma's naptimes so that she gets enough sleep during the day and is awake and waiting for me when i reach home. God blessed us with Susheela Akka - our Nanny/maid who lives with us. I spend all my time right from when I reach home till Nanma goes to bed, with her. I am happy, Nanma is happy and so is Ashwin!

I used to worry about missing major milestones. But by God's grace, I didn't miss a single one! I managed weaning, teething, walking, pacifier weaning, bottle weaning, potty training all of it over weekends and school holidays. I can't really say "I" managed it, cos I believe God had a major part to play in it as well.

My fears of having a child that loved her Nanny more than her mother turned out to be just that - fears. One of my favorite verses is this : For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - 2 Timothy 1 :7. Being a working mom has meant teaching myself to be more disciplined. I might not be able to get my mani-pedi-facials done as often as I could earlier, and I might not be able to sleep in or take an afternoon nap with Nanma. For me, work has not come ahead of my child and I hope that will always be the case. I have had some wonderful times with my daughter and am confident that the fun times will continue.

Many Christians are often quick to judge working mothers. I cannot speak for all mothers everywhere, but I do know this. God has called me to be a mother and a teacher. And I for one am happy to follow my calling.

Like I said in my last post, I don't know what the future holds. I might not always be a working mom. But I do know this - Satan tries his hardest to convince women that others around us are right in their criticism. But I'm wiser than him in knowing with all my heart that God knows best! Being a working mom isn't easy. But then I have the support of a God who gives me daily grace and strength.

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. - 1 tim 1:12

God's Plans

2012-02-09T15:38:00.003+05:30

However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

- 1 Corinthians 2:9

Who knows what the future holds? I certainly don't. But I'm putting my trust in the guy who created the universe. So that takes care of the worry!

* image source

FAMILY!!!

2012-02-03T08:28:00.005+05:30

All of these. . . .

Meeting a much loved crazy cousin after 2 years . . . thinking she must have grown more mature in that time, and then realising that along with the maturity, the craziness has also grown! !

Nanma wearing her uncle's helmet . . . charming the 'rubber chappals' ( we don't wear socks!) off her adoring uncles, aunts, great uncles and great aunts.

Spoiling what would have been a lovely picture by making a face. (sigh! I should learn to pose!)

Having your parents sit together for a picture and as you take it, realising how blessed you are that you have a family that is so close, that loves God, and to have all had parents who have lived their lives thus far trusting God for everything!

(from L toR : My Appa's brother and wife. in the middle - my parents and to the right my Appa's sister and husband.)

A family that loves ice-cream! Who eat ice-cream in memory of our beloved Ammachy! (that's just an excuse, we all love ice-cream anyway!) Ever heard of an ice-cream called"gadbad"??

Watching these sisters in ~~law~~ love share everything - happy news, worries, sarrees, parenting tips, recipes, memories and great big hugs. And hoping that our boys will end up marrying girls we can be as close with too.

Splashing about in the sunset. Creating happy memories.

Reminiscing about times spent with Appacha and Ammachy (our iconic grandparents) Listening to funny stories from our parents' childhood. Retelling Ammachy's bedtime stories(Sumodh we missed you so much that night! )

Ah! Nothing like a family reunion to lift your spirits high!

I don't want a "Good Girl" Lord!

2012-01-31T08:15:00.004+05:30

"Good girls don't do that!" is something I find myself saying about 20 times a day!

For all her cuteness and charm, Nanma can sometimes behave like a little devil! There are days when she will do the EXACT opposite of what we tell her to do. I have lost count of the number of times she has embarrassed us in public and I've silently prayed, "Lord, please get me out of here!"

Just the other night, I told her not to do something. She went ahead and did just that, and then went on to face the consequences I had warned her about without flinching. I have always known she is strong willed. But that day, I began fearing for her (and us!) "If she is like this now, what is she going to be like as a teenager?"

I see some of the kids she plays with at school and Church and I wonder why she cannot be so "nice".

"What am I doing wrong?"

"What are others thinking of me as a mother right now?

And then today I read this article by Lysa TerKeurst. Just what I needed. Here is an excerpt of what she says in the article.

If you are a parent struggling with this area too, I would encourage you to go and read the whole article. I'm going to try and change the way I pray for Nanma. And I am going to try to remember that her strong willed ' ness is not my doing, but a gift that God is going to help mold into a terrific character trait!

"I cried all the way home. Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.

I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good. . .

. . . Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along."

- Lysa TerKeurst

Recipe for Heartmelts

2012-01-23T12:42:00.009+05:30

First you take a little bitty bit of cuteness.

.Then you twirl it around.

.And around. . . .

And then you add another bitty bit of cuteness to it.

And then you watch them hug.
One heartmelt ready to go!!

That's Nanma and her "cousind" Ahana! ** love**

They are not really cousins, but when you have 3 generations of family friends that even share your same surname, you are practically cousins!

P.S Leena, Nanma and I loved the dress! Thanks so much!

The Mallu - North East Connection

2012-01-18T08:06:00.003+05:30

When I was doing my masters, I was part of a crazy all girl acapella band. Well, you can't really call it a band, we were a quartet. In an institute consisting mostly of literary ~~nerds~~ geniuses, we were the first to do something like this. We created some fantastic memories practicing, singing for the passengers on a train, and we even went all the way from Hyderabad to Bangalore to participate at IIMB's culturals only to find out that the "Western music" competition was actually only meant for rock bands. Not to be deterred, we sang our rehearsed numbers in an impromptu show that acatually managed to draw a crowd!

The 'Sitaphalbandees' as we called ourselves (laugh! That's what the name was supposed to do! We named ourselves after the area our institute was located in - Sitaphalmandi) consisted of 2 Mallus and 2 Nagas. Happy Memories!!

Today, I came across a video posted by my old bandmate on facebook. She called it the Mallu -North East Connection. And I just loved it! This is a video of the Shillong Chamber Choir whom I absolutely adore! Here is their official website .

It is a Malayalam song for a Malayalam movie composed and sung by people from the North East of India. What a lovely blend!! Malayalam is a difficult language to pronounce and I think they have done a great job!

Here it is! Madi Madi (meaning "Lazy, Lazy)

Back!

2012-01-11T12:46:00.006+05:30

Hi All!

I'm back after a month long break. I haven't been very regular with blogging and I can't promise I will be either.

Christmas was good. I spent Christmas day moning with my husband's family and that afternoon Nanma and I took a long train ride to Kerala for my cousin's wedding where we had a happy family reunion. From there my family went down to my lovely little hometown where we attended another wedding among all the family bonding that happened.

On New Years eve we took the train back to Chennai and spent the first day of the new year with Ashwin's family. We then attended another cousin's wedding where I met 2 long lost friends and 2 blog readers!

Ashwin also had to have a small ear surgery and had to undergo several tests for his sleep apnea. Nanma started going to a new playschool - one just opposite our house. Not the best start to the New Year, but I'm not complaining.

What I loved about the holidays

FAMILY! We had so much fun travelling together on the train. Our tickets from Kerala to ODC (my hometown) were booked separately by the 3 families travelling. We were 12 in all and while checking to see how far away our berths were scattered we had the utterly jubilant surprise of finding that all 12 berths booked from 3 different parts of the country were side by side in the same coach!! We had so much fun playing UNO and snacking away on biscuits and murukku just like when we were kids!
The only thing better than having a great set of cousins is to get married and discover that your husband has an awesome set of cousins too! The wedding in Chennai was so much fun. Their family has a nice tradition of celebrating the bride/groom's "night before". The cousins put up an entertaining show for the family and Ashwin and I had the ~~horror~~ pleasure of dancing to a few funny choreographed numbers in true Bollywood style.
This "Night Before" party was at a posh hotel and just as we were driving out, Nanma said with a sigh "This is how to have a nice time!" The rest of us in the car burst out laughing at the aptness of her words. Of course by "nice time" she meant the time she and her cousins spent running up and down the rows of chairs chasing each other.
Ashwin was originally suppossed to have 3 surgeries in January. We were quite worried about these but by God's grace he only needed to have one small surgery. We also found out that one of the things he is allergic to is milk - something he has every single day in the form of coffee and curd. Anyway after cutting milk from his diet, he is so much better!
Once again . . . FAMILY!!! I am grateful more than ever now, for my wonderful family that rallied together when we needed support. I count myself very blessed to have 2 supercalifragistically wonderful sets of parents! I love you Appa, Amma, Papa, Mummy!

Now after enjoying 3 weeks as a stay at home mom, I am now a working mom once again. My kids at school and I were swapping holiday stories. I told them I went to 3 weddings.

One little boy asked me "What means wedding?"

I told him its the day a man and a woman get married. I made a clasping gesture with my hands.

He looked shocked. "3?? Ms. Deepa? You?"

"yes"

"Then you lay 3 babies?"

"WhaaaaaaT??

I think I need to start my next lesson asserting that I am a woman and not a hen! And then maybe find a more appropriate gesture for the word 'Wedding.'

If I were not a teacher

2011-11-23T12:17:00.002+05:30

Don't get me wrong. I love my job! I know I was made to be a teacher. But like any other job, there are times when I feel frustrated. Like report card comments, curriculum mapping etc. And at those times, I let my thoughts wander to other possible jobs I could have other than teaching.

Today as I sat with my grade level team, doing our curriculum mapping, one of the teachers mentioned that she used to be a children's toys reviewer for Amazon. The company would send her crates of toys and she would watch her children play with them and write reviews. Apparently she got paid about a hundred and fifty dollars for each review!! what a great way to give your kids new toys (even for a short period. They usually lose interest in them in a couple of weeks time anyway!) and make money over the summer!

Hmmm. . . What would I want to be?

I used to want to be a radio news reader. I guess a small part of me still does. Although I dont know many people who listen to news on the radio anymore. I took two courses on Reading for Radio as part of my post graduate study and I loved it!

A baker! I do it when I have the time, but should I have to quit my teaching job for some reason, then I would have to depend on my baking for additional income.

A restaurant reviewer! A good friend has just begun doing this and I love what I see on his blog. You get invited to some of the poshest, nicest restaurants to eat their food, and all you do in return is write about them. (Sorry Div, I know its not that simple, but I would just like to think so)

Photo journalist! I think its a cool job. except I have none of the skills it requires. :(

Modest Fashion Designer. I emphasize on the word 'modest' because there is a real dearth of fashion designers that make fashionable yet modest clothes. I know many Christians who think fashion is evil and hence dress frumpily. I think it is possible to live frugally and still wear nice clothes.

Run a Bed and Breakfast Oh how I would love that! What an unhurried life! I love meeting people, chatting, cooking, napping in the afternoons. . .sigh! But my mom tells me I am not a very good hostess, because I spend more time chatting that I do serving the guests. So that's off the list.

I could just continue being the wife, mother and teacher that I am !

seriously!

I am so thankful for my job!

If you were a fly on my wall

2011-11-16T15:53:00.002+05:30

About a year and a half ago, I wrote a post titled "If you were a fly on my classroom wall". Now its time to do the home version of it.

Things have been very interesting recently. I think its all the time she has spent indoors thanks to her family members falling sick one by one that lent flight to this splendid imagination of hers.

So. . . if you were a fly on our wall you'd hear things like . . .

" Amma, Appa talk softly! The balloons are sleeping"

"Nanma! You can't mop the floor with grape juice!"

"Penguin is sleeping in the washing machine"

"I don't want medicine! If I go to Samaya's house my cough will all go away!"

"Amma, I want semenlation!"

WHAAAAAAT???

Semenlation! .....(turns out she wanted steam inhalation! phew!)

"Nanma reading time is over. Now its sleeping time"

Amma, dont disburt . I'm bissi"

"Tomorrow is my kalyanam*" (*wedding)

What is kalyanam?

"kalyanam is wearing sari and eating biriyani"

You want curd in your noodles?? REALLY?? NO!! (I don't know where she got that Ra-One trait from!!)

"My crocs also want a bubble bath"

"Amma, is this my poopoo? " (taking some random piece of dried brown stuff off the ground and shoving it under my nose to smell!)

O.K I'll stop there.... it could get worse you know!

When the going gets tough

2011-11-09T08:03:00.003+05:30

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going" is a proverb we all know.

Well, the going got tough - the monsoons arrived in Chennai, and with it first our maid/nanny then Nanma, then myself, then Ashwin, and then Nanma again fell sick. And somewhere along the line our washing machine broke (in the middle of the monsoons... HELP!)

So, the going got tough . . . . and I'm not tough, . . . . so it really was, and still is tough to get going!

It seemed like our family prayers were laden with request after request.

Between a highly irritable child, a sick husband, my own 6 week long sinusitis and a job that required me to be around highly excitable children for 8 hours each day, I was finding that my patience and temper were reaching the end of their tether.

And then after losing it, yelling at my poor sick child and snapping at my poor sick husband, and feeling so miserable that I was literally shaking my fists at God, it came to me.

When the going gets tough, His GRACE is sufficient!

And so here I am today, Nanma still has her viral fever, Ashwin still has his bronchitis, my sinus is still blocked and I will be meeting the same ~~exasperating~~ kids at school. But the difference is that today, I am claiming God's grace to deal with "tough goings" in my life.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

-Isaiah 43:2

Reading Memories - Part 1

2011-10-21T10:29:00.008+05:30

What are some of your favorite reading memories?

Do you, like me, remember the time and place you read the book when you recall something you read?

Here are some of my favorite reading memories.

For the longest time, I only read comics. My uncle's comic book collection was extensive. My favorites were the three "Famous Five" comics my mother got me from Vellore. They were expensive and I used to call them "precious books" as a child. I loved reading them best on my bed, with a bowl of freshly cut sugarcane. I'd have another bowl beside me to spit the waste into. I can still hear the crunch of the sugarcane, the flap of the pages turning and taste the sweet juice bursting into my mouth when I recall this book. I started reading chapter books later, but the combination of freshly cut sugarcane and books never let me down!

My mother's parents lived in Kerala and we would spend at least 2 weeks every summer with them. It was a long train journey - ODC to Madurai by bus; Madurai to Kollam by train; a 2-3 hours wait at the Kollam station; Kollam to Thiruvella by another train and then finally, Thiruvella to my grandparents home by car where there would be a hot Kerala brunch waiting for us. I used to look forward to the transit at Kollam because that is when Appa would take me for a walk till the end of the platform and back, we'd talk about the "gothic style" doors at the station, how Kollam won the cleanest railway station award, how the steam engine works and then Appa would buy me a Tinkle comic from the Higginbothams books stall, A 'Vanitha' for Amma and a 'Frontline/India Today/ The Week" for himself. We would sit on the benches outside, sipping hot vending machine coffee, reading, watching the sunrise and waiting for our connecting train. Sigh! Those were the days!

I have more memories. These are just the first two that came to my mind. I think I might start a series of posts on this topic. Feel free to join me.

I haven't figured out how to get people to put their links up on my blog, but I will soon. So for now, please put your reading memories as a comment on this post, or type in a link to your blog.

** All images sourced from Google Images.

My little composer

2011-10-20T08:15:00.003+05:30

Nanma recently composed her first song. The first half of the tune sounds like "I'm a little teapot" and the second half is like the last two lines of "twinkle twinkle". Here are the lyrics.

I going to the jungle

And what I see?

Brother John** and Lion and me

Brother John and lion and me

And it repeats over and over again till you get fed up and ask her to stop.

** brother john - from the rhyme "Are you sleeping"

Ashwin and I are so proud of her. She is just learning to speak English but what amazes me is the song rhymes! Looking forward to more such conpositions.

Looks like there might be hope for Nanma in the singing Department after all!

Freeze Frame

2011-10-15T01:29:00.003+05:30

Sometimes photographs capture special moments

Like this one below.

A special moment frozen in time.

.
.

A memory. recorded

I am a fan of my husband's photographic skills.

Journal Entries & Vanity!

2011-10-14T14:00:00.005+05:30

One of the things my students do almost on a daily basis is write in their journals for about 10-15 minutes. The main idea behind this exercise is to build their writing stamina. It also serves as an 'idea bank' from where they can draw inspiration for other writers workshop assignments. I encourage free writing and only give a topic if they are absolutely stuck. I do not grade their journal entries, but I do get to read them!

Here's a sample from a little boy in my class. I've heard it said that Love has no age limit. But this young??

And It's not as simple as that. There is a love triangle with a jealous 3rd party involved.

I think I really have to start asking them to widen their horizons and write about other things! I might even give journal writing a bit of a rest for a while.

But then I won't get to read stuff like this one below.... and see myself represented as a princess/fairy in dressed in a medevial flowy gown with a stylish lock of hair covering my eyes...

And feel the thrill of knowing my student imagines I am a fairy!! And "not just a simple fairy, but a wonderful fairy". Oh! The joys of teaching young 'uns!

But then again.... NO..... Seriously, I need to have a chat with this lil fella and get him to write about stuff other than fairies, princess and romance!

Timely!

2011-10-10T11:15:00.005+05:30

Last night Nanma was playing with my wallet and she pulled this old note out. I was irritated with her at that time for playing with something so precious. But I guess its all a part of God's plan. I needed to read its message and remember it this morning.

Here's the story behind the note. It was written by my father (he's a doctor. that explains the illegible handwriting) and I've had it for 11 years.

I was still in school - 12th grade. My 11th and 12th grades were not my best years. I struggled with all the typical teenage issues plus the fact that I hated the subjects I had to do since my school and town were so small that they didn't have many options. The board exams - the fate decider - was due in 3 days and the first exam was the most dreaded "Tamil Paper 1". That was when we got the call that my Appacha (Amma's father) had passed away. I was heartbroken. My parents were already in Kerala and I went there for the funeral. My Amma stayed on with my Ammachy and Appa and I came back to our house one day ahead of my dreaded exams. I just could not study. I was terrible at Tamil and had barely managed to pass my internal exams. Each time I took up my Tamil book, I would start worrying that I'd flunk my exams. Tamil - the regional language of my state was not the most important exam, but if I failed one paper, I would have to wait another year to write the exam again and qualify to enter college.

It's hard to stay focused when you are grieving.

Close to midnight, Appa walked into my room, gave me a hug and handed me this note. "One who keeps Israel neither sleeps not slumbers. Both of us need not keep awake together". He made me close my books. We prayed together and I slept. . . .soundly.

He dropped me off at my exam center the next day. Appa stayed at home, praying the entire time I wrote the exam. My Amma in Kerala did the same. Wonder of wonders, I was able to write the exam without breaking down. When the marks came, I had passed by one mark! 35 was the cut off and I had 36 on 100!

I had this note pinned to my pin up board at home while I lived there and have carried it in my wallet ever since I left home. It remains forgotton there, but once in a while, I stumble upon it and I'm reminded of the fact that God is indeed watching over me.

3John 1:4

2011-09-28T08:23:00.003+05:30

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. - 3John 1:4 (The Bible)

These were words my Ammachy wrote in a little journal or sorts. We found this after she had gone to heaven after 3 years of cancer.

Nanma has been making me think of this verse a lot these days. I have been talking to her about Jesus since she was 1 or so and we've been praying together for some time now. I didn't really know what her understanding of God was and whether prayer was just a routine for her. She would say things like "Jesus is inside my tummy" that would make us laugh! She is so precious!

The other day, I saw her struggle to open an umbrella. I did nothing to help her and I watched from the other room to see what she would do. After a little bit she managed to get it open. Immediately she looked up at the roof, smiled and said "Thank you Jesus!" My heart just welled up with happiness and I remembered the verse Ammachy wrote down in her journal all those years ago.

Truly, I have no greater joy than knowing that my child is walking in the truth.

A Funny Story

2011-09-27T15:26:00.002+05:30

(image source)

Summer holidays at my Ammachy’s house were always brimming and overflowing with fun. From the time we woke up in the morning to a couple of hours past sunset, we would have made more than a dozon circles around that beautiful tree shrouded house. We – my cousins and I were blessed. We had the best Ammachy on the planet! She would sing with us, read to us, comb our hair out for lice, invent new sweet treats for us, teach us games from her childhood and punish us when we crossed the line.

In the backyard we had a cute chicken coop. It was cute, like a tiny house on stilts - raised above the ground so that foxes wouldn’t catch the chickens. (Yes, foxes! Ammachy told me they came down from the nearby hill at night) In the evenings Ammachy’s free range chickens would be shut inside the coop.

One such summer day we were playing hide’n’seek. It was my turn to be it. As I started counting, I could hear feet scurrying out to hide. “98. . . . 99. . . . 1000 Ready or not, here I come!” I shouted and went around seeking the hiders. The little ones were the easiest to find. The gardener’s children were harder to find. I saved the best for last – Sumodh, my almost twin cousin! I searched high and low in every tree, on every parapet wall and by the time I circled the house twice I was ready to give up. “Come out Sumodh, you’re the last one !” I yelled. Suddenly I heart muffled laughter. It was coming from somewhere above me. I looked up. Nothing.

“Suuuuuumooooooooooodh ! This is not funny ! This game is getting boooooorrrrrrrrinng ! ”

Raucous laughter !. . . guffaws ! . . . . Right above my head !

He was inside the chicken coop !

A chubby eight year old boy, inside a space that could accommodate 5 chickens! ! !

His little sister ran in shouting “Ammaaacheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” We always called her the ‘complaint box’ and she was living up to her name yet again.

“Ugh. . . . I can’t get out” said a feeble voice. I had no idea how he got himself inside in the first place.

Ammachy and ShanmugamAnna – the gardnener came out. I don’t remember how they managed to get the chubby boy out. But Ammachy was furious. We were sent inside while Sumodh got the yelling of his life and . . . . . . .

. . . . . Wait . . . . that’s not the end.

Just as Ammachy was yelling at him, he started itching all over. Kozhi paen – aka chicken lice!!!

HA HA HA!

Ammachy slathered him in some medicine and we had fun hosing him down. He wasn’t allowed inside the house until a thorough check was done.

What a laugh riot! That night, we took longer than usual to fall asleep.

A New Reality !

2011-09-23T07:47:00.003+05:30

How do you fit an ATM machine into a fairy-tale? Even into one that doesn't actually feature fairies??

Last night as I was putting Nanma to bed, she asked me to tell her a story. Only recently did I start telling her classic children's stories. Until then it was more like "realistic fiction" because that is what she knows. I had told her the story of Johnny Appleseed - one of my childhood favorites and she loved it. So I thought I could move on to fantasy.

So I begin*..." Long, long ago, there was a boy named Jack"

Nanma: Jack and Jill went up the hill

ME: Not that Jack, another boy. His Mother didn't have any money at home.

Nanma: No money to buy ice-cream. (this is something she hears from me when we walk down to the beach. I can't be buying her ice-cream everyday, can I?)

ME: NO money for icecream, or nice toys or even food. So his mother said.....

Nanma: What's the mother's name?

ME: um..... ah.....Mary. So his mother said "Take our cow to the market and bring back some money"

Nanma: Why?

ME: Because they didn't have money.

Nanma: He should have gone to the ATM!

ME: (Laughing).... Why?

Nanma: Moo Moo doesn't give money. You go with Amma to the ATM, put something in and money comes out. Amma shall we go to the beach and eat ice-cream?

I was stumped. How could I take that story further from there? ATMs are her reality.

My creative brains were fried from thinking of a way to weave an automated teller machine into a story that featured magic beanstalks and giants!

*The exchange above was entirely in Malayalam. It was funnier in that language!

2011-09-16T08:42:00.000+05:30

Philippians 4:8, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (NIV)

I have a husband and a daughter - 2 things I always dreamed of having.
I am living in my own (rented) home. Not depending on my in-laws. There are so many Indian women out there for whom this is the case.
I have a job that I love
My daughter is so smart
My husband loves me
My parents and inlaws are constantly surrounding my family in prayer
I live on a quiet, peaceful lane (very hard to have in Chennai)
I live near the beach
I have friends
I don't have any major life threatening illness
My daughter is healthy
My husband has a job
My husband provides for our family
I have a cook cum nanny who I trust
My bed might be small but it is oh so comfy!
There are people who want to read what I write
I have never starved for food
I can talk to God whenever I want
I have a family heritage I that God is proud of!
God has protected me and brought me this far. I couldn't have done it on my own!

These are just the first 20 things that came to my mind. I'm sure if I were to actually sit down and count them all, there would be far too many to type out. As I was writing this, I was reminded of my grandma - my precious Ammachy. This was one of the songs she loved to sing and she taught it to all her grandkids. I'm sure she drew strength from this song as well.

She was a big town girl brought up in an affluent, influential family who gave up all that she was used to to go with her husband and two little sons to a tiny, famine struck village far away from home. I remember Ammachy's stories of how their first thatched house didn't even have a toilet. Of how she would wait in line at the common well to draw water. Of how biscuits were a rare treat for her children. And I remember her letter to her children before she passed on. She wrote of how blessed she was.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,

Count your many blessings name them one by one

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Count your blessings,name them one by one;

Count your blessings, see what God has done.

Count your blessings,name them one by one;

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Source

Thank you Lord!

Leena

2011-09-14T12:19:00.002+05:30

Let me introduce you to a dear friend. Even before I actually met her, I heard from different people of how sweet she is. My mother-law would praise her for her thoughtful nature and for the fact that she always made it a point to keep in touch. (something I am terrible at). So, (the old me) was a little miffed that there was this girl - the perfect daughter-in-law that I had to be friends with. Silly me. Because I hadn't met her yet.

But when we did, there was this instant connection. Sure, she was just as sweet and thoughtful as everyone had said, but she wasn't rubbing it in my face. I loved being at the receiving end of her sweet nature and generosity! She had brought along her little 3 month old baby and I fell in love with the perfectness of little Joanna and enjoyed carrying her around.

Over the last four years, I have got to know her as a dear friend, with whom I share so many similarities in spite of our differences. Over facebook, she reached out to me at a time when I felt quite alone and I will be ever grateful for that. We hardly keep in touch (yeah, that's me :-) ) but she is someone I would call a kindred spirit. Nanma adores her Joanna chechi(big sister) and I look forward to their annual visits to India when we can meet in person and re-connect.

Leena is inspiring. She is a woman who's goal in life is to be the kind of wife and mother God wants her to be. She has this amazing ability, where she uses ordinary everyday occurrences as windows through which she lets God show her the bigger picture. She started on her blog a while ago, but her most recent post really struck a chord with me.

So dear readers, go over to her blog and read. Be inspired!

arrrrrgggggggggh!!

2011-09-12T15:52:00.003+05:30

I agreed to let my room be used today as the venue for an After School Activity. Foolish me forgot to ask the co-ordinator what activity would be held in my room.

So here I am.... I have PILES of work to finish but I just cannot because there's a beginners VIOLIN class happening in my room.

BEGINNERS VIOLIN!!

keeeeeeh ki ki ki keeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

My hair is standing on ends, my ears are ringing and my head is splitting from badly tuned violins played by 4th graders. grrrrrr and strangely enough there is a bitter metallic taste in my mouth!

lesson learnt: Never ever agree to host an after school activity without knowing what it is. And never ever will I let Nanma take up the violin!

Scrumpilicious Cupcakes

2011-09-10T11:59:00.003+05:30

Hi all of you!

This is a big moment for me..... when I introduce to my latest baby (not the human kind)

S C R U M P I L I C I O U S C U P P Y C A K E S

This is the curly swirly idea I had mentioned here. I am thrilled that it is actually happening now! I started taking orders for cupcakes a few months ago. At first only my close friends and family ordered. But soon (ahem... actually last week) I started getting orders from people I don't know!!

This blog is my feeble attempt at doing something about it. It is still a work in progress.... in fact I only spent about half an hour on the blog and so there is a LOT more yet to be done. Being a wife, mother and teacher are still my primary areas of focus and baking comes only after that. So I might decline some orders for lack of time.

hmm.... This is just the start.... lets see where it takes me!

How To Care For Introverts

2011-09-06T15:11:00.002+05:30

I am an extrovert. My husband is an introvert. I have known him for 8 years, been married for 4, and I still end up pushing all the wrong buttons when it comes to him. A friend sent this out and I thought I should print it and wear it around my neck as a reminder!

I Have Grown!

2011-08-31T08:22:00.005+05:30

If you expected this post to be a lengthy, thought provoking, (boring?) one about how I've grown from being an impulsive, scatterbrained, daydreaming girl into a mature, deep thinking woman, then you're wrong. Because it isn't about that. I'm still on the journey to maturity, remember?

Yes, it's about growing. But not that kind.

Size.

I've grown in size. ;-) (some people call it fat.) I now weigh as much as i did when I was pregnant with Nanma. And no, I wish I was carrying my 2nd baby, but I'm not.

But that wasn't what really I wanted to discuss here.

I've grown in size - from being a chirpy, imaginative 5 year old to a chirpy, imaginative almost 30 year old! And last weekend, I was reminded of how different the world looks through the eyes of a child.

You see, last weekend I had the opportunity to visit my childhood hometown - where I lived from when I was a wee baby till I turned 5. We had a family wedding at CMC Vellore - My first home. I have said earlier on this blog that I have vivid memories of my early childhood and I think it's mainly because I had such a happy one. I remember all my best friends and neighbours from when I was 3. So this weekend was a trip down nostalgia lane.

Here's why I said I have grown...

My old school - Vidyalayam. Between the wedding and the reception, I left my daughter with her grandparents and ran to peek in. I remembered exactly where it was. But much to my amazement, the school seemed tiny. The gate came up to my waist! The "big childrens slide" that preschoolers like me weren't allowed on, was only as big as the one my daughter plays on now! It made me wonder how small the "small slide" actually was! The boulders that my best friend Tina and I played on were just small rocks. I could jump over them with no effort at all.

The quaint corner store where my family bought there provisions and where I would manage to charm medical students into buying me Appy ..... is not a corner store at all! It looks just like any other department store.

The "Big Bungalow" isn't as HUGE as I thought it was. There are no marble curtains (my imagination?) and the lawns behind it don't stretch on forever.

In the auditorium there is the bust of the founder - Dr Ida Scudder. I could actually reach up and touch her face!! I had never been able to see beyond her nose as a child!

Every one of my parents' friends I met remarked at how I look just like my mother, and of how Nanma looks just like I did at her age!

P.E.R.S.P.E.C.T.I.V.E

The contrast between my memories and what I saw as an adult last weekend was mind numbing. For 1 day, my mind felt disjointed from my body.

It was wierd..... realising I had grown!

But I did want Nanma to experience some of the fun I had. So while the guests waited in a loooooooong queue to ggreet the newly married couple, I took my high heeled shoes off and ran up and down the ramp at the auditorium with Nanma singing "Uphill, downhill, uphill, downhill" just like I used to 24 odd years ago. And it was F.U.N!!

The Master Key

2011-08-23T17:00:00.001+05:30

image source

The new school year is now well on its way, and I have a new set of stories to tell. Here's the latest.

I usually begin my class with what we call 'Circle Share' . We sit on the rug in a circle and 3 people get to share something that happened to them . Others will ask questions or offer comments. Last week I modeled this activity by sharing something that had happened that morning.

"This morning I found out that I locked my keys inside my classroom so I called security. But they were all busy directing the traffic outside school. So I went to the principal. He came up to the room with his master key and opened it for me."

TH: "Oh cool! Master key!"

JHH : What can it do?

me: It can open any door in the school.

All : Waaaaaaaaoooowwwwww!

AG : What colour is it?

me: um..... gold.

AG : I knew it! A master key can only be a golden key!

TH: Waaaaaaoooow! A golden key!

JHH: Do you have it now? Can you show it?

me: No. The principal has it.

JHH: (In a serious whispery voice) A golden master key - Only the master hold it. Somebody, anybody else hold it, they DIE!

All: ooooooh!!

TH: But how did they make it?
JHH: I know.... long ago. All the energies of school, in all the rooms come together. On top of mountain. And there...... A fire dragon (grrraaaaoowl!) give it to the master. (He kneels down on one knee, head bowed, arms outstretched as if to recieve the key) Now master hold the master key! (One hand raised up, eyes focussed on the ceiling)

The rest of the class - me included, watched the drama with open mouthed wonder.

I had heard from his previous teacher that JHH can be quite a handful. I didn't know he had such a wild imagination. What's amazing is that this child expresses himself so confidently given his limited knowledge of English.

This academic year is going to be so exciting!!! :)

la la lala!

Hard to believe

2011-08-19T15:42:00.003+05:30

Sometimes I look at my little girl as she plays mother to her dolls......

And I can't remember a time when she was once held just like this......

...... So tiny....

I knew she'd bring me joy.

I just had no idea how much.

I still don't!

Less Like Scars and More like Character

2011-08-02T14:23:00.004+05:30

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wtpZfYG1nBs

I found this link over at Aliesha's blog. And it in a way sums up stuff that has been going on in my life.

The feeling of weightlessness after handing over your worries to God is amazing.

LESS LIKE SCARS - By Sara Groves

It's been a hard year

But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's
Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sara_groves/less_like_scars.html ]
And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you're here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

* Picture from here

Play School

2011-07-28T10:34:00.002+05:30

One of the highlights of my Summerbreak has been putting Nanma in Playschool. After a LOT
of searching, praying, debating and whatever else, we finally settled on a playschool for Nanma. When I am at work, she is taken care of by our nanny/maid who is a wonderful grandmotherly person. But Nanma was bored. On June 27th we took Nanma to her playschool - Kinderstand. Ashwin and I were nervous but Nanma was excited. After the initial excitement of playing with the tricycles and the ball pit, she spotted the trampoline.

"Aaah! Jumping jumping!!!" She screamed as she ran to it, clambered up and began bouncing away." She seemed so happy, I didn't feel like telling her we were going to leave her there for an hour.

Just that morning, Ashwin had prayed with her telling her Jesus would be with her at school. He was standing at a distance, being a man and not showing how bad he felt. I of course, could do no such thing. I bent down to tell her "Nanma, Appa and Amma are going now. You will play by yourself at school. After you eat your snack, I will come to pick you up. Don't cry, we WILL come to take you home"

She looked at me, waved to her Appa and said " Appa Amma po. Jesus Nanmade koode ondu" (Appa, Amma go. Jesus is with Nanma)

I had to furiously gulp those tears down, waved goodbye and waited till I was safely inside the car and under my dark glasses before I let my inner crybaby come out!

I am so proud of my little baby girl who is growing up way too fast these days!

Here she is again, all set for school. I don't know what exactly her understanding of Jesus is. But my greatest desire for her is that she grows to realise e of Jesus with all her heart.

Hair

2011-07-19T22:12:00.001+05:30

Put three crazy cousins and one cool kid on a windy rooftop and we are sure to find ways to entertain ourselves, the hapless husband who had to take pictures and the 55 who read my blog!

Our hair could be categorised from left to right as.....

poker straight - Nanma
straight on top and loose curls at the bottom - Soumya
naturally messy jumble that can hardly be fixed - Me!
gloriously, gorgeously curly locks - Ansu

4 years!

2011-07-07T01:09:00.002+05:30

It's been 4 wonderful years since the day Ashwin and I were married. I feel blessed!

P.S - for non-south Indians, the picture above is of the exact moment when we "tied the knot" this is the "minnu kettal" - the symbolic gesture that signifies marriage. Ashwin is tying a knot on a cord of three silk strands on which my 'minnu' (south Indian equivalent of a wedding ring) is threaded.

Bye bye! School! Hello Summer break!

2011-06-10T12:43:00.003+05:30

Today is the last working day of this academic year. Tomorrow my Summer break begins.

2 months!

Two whole months!

This is one of the best perks of being a teacher!

Wake up, Jesus!

2011-06-07T14:35:00.003+05:30

Last evening, we had a surprise thunder storm in Chennai. Rain is always welcome in our hot, sweaty city. And yesterday's was a pleasant surprise for me.

But Nanma was frightened. After 2 months of h.o.t and hotter weather, with not a breeze in the air, she was startled by the loud noises as our doors banged shut with the wind. She huddled up beside me and I carried her out to the doorstep to watch the rain and the lightening in the distance.

"Amma rain de katha para" she said. Tell me the story of rain! As I wondered what story to make up, I suddenly remembered the story of Jesus calming the storm. I told her the story and she listened, the trees bending over in the wind, the pelting rain and the thunder and lightening added to the drama.

"Jesus and his friends were out on a tiny fishing boat in the middle of the sea. It was beautiful and calm out there on the open seas and Jesus went to take a nap. His friends were fine. After all, what bad thing could happen on a beautiful day like this? But suddenly, a storm arose. The tiny boat was tossed about the huge waves and Jesus' friends held on for their dear lives.

Where was Jesus? Why wasn't he doing something? Was he really who he claimed to be? How dare he sleep through this? Why wasn't he even helping bail the water out? One of them went to wake him up. "Master, Master,Don't you care? We're going to drown!" he said. Jesus woke up, smiled at him and then stood up.

He looked at the raging sea and said " Hush!...Shhhh...." And in an instant, it was calm again. Then he turned to look at the shocked faces of his friends and said "Come on! where's your faith?" . And they felt silly to have thought he didn't care or that he wasn't listening.

And as I finished that story, I felt quite silly too. I had been asking the very same questions. "Where are you Lord? Why don't you answer? Please do something or else I'm am going to drown in this!" All the while He has been right beside me! Oh me of little faith!

Hush! Peace.... Shalom.... Shhhh!

Thank you!

2011-05-31T10:45:00.002+05:30

Thank you!

..to all 10 of you who filled out my survey! And to the others who commented on my last post.

Thank you for your encouragement and your honest feedback. (although some, I wished I hadn't read!). I wanted to publish the results of the survey and then I decided against it.

um.... more on that later!

But thank you all!

Quick.. fill this out and send it back!

2011-05-27T14:18:00.003+05:30

I checked my blogger dashboard today, and lo and behold - I now have 52 followers! Now I know many of you don't read here regularly, but if you do, please do this for me.

My personality is such that I am a very curious person. I need to know things. And right now, I need to know some more about you. Who are you 52 people? Where are you from? What do you like in my blog? What do you hate?

So go here, be darlings and fill this out for me please!

Click here to take survey

My daughter, she is.....

2011-05-25T15:59:00.002+05:30

She is adventurous

She can be a crybaby

She's a helper

She's a friend

She is brave

She is gleeful

She's a learner

She trusts

She is stubborn

She's friendly..(did I say that before? But that's one of her best traits!)

She is cheeky

She can get angry

And get lost in dreamland

She questions

She leads

She loves

When life gives her lemons (actually this lil lemon is a cutie. But you get the picture,right?)

She makes some very yummy lemonade!

And that's my girl!

La La La.....La La

2011-05-20T15:13:00.003+05:30

I'm feeling slightly on top of the world right now.

Can't you tell?

Oh maybe it's my subtle style of writing that had you fooled. (ha ha)

But believe me, I am feeling very happy right now.

why?

lots of reasons....

Here are the top 5 reasons why

It's Friday!! That means tomorrow's Saturday. And that means tomorrow and the next day off from work. And that means, time spent with my little muffin (actually she's turning out to be multi tired cake rather than a little muffin) and my sweet husband! And.... weekend also means fun things among grocery shopping, school hunting and the other stuff that just have to be done on weekends.

I just checked my blogger dashboard and found out I have 50 followers! Now I wish I could say "Ah, 50- that's double my age" But I can't. That would be lying. And I don't want to lie to my 50 followers, do i? My cousins keep telling me I'm ancient. But I know that as long as I am on the younger side of 30, I can still call myself a "20 something girl"!!!
I have this curly, swirly, wonderfully dreamy, creamy, totally doable idea that's literally and figuratively cooking up a creative storm in my brain. So far, only Ashwin and my best girlfriends are privy to my idea. (How I wish I knew how to draw stars and rainbows around text on blogger!) It's not a big secret, but for now it's a little hush hush. Will tell you soon, and would LOVE your support!
I finished all my year end assessments on my students. (If no one's watching you right now, please clap for me....audibly! It will make me feel happier!) We don't have exams for elementary students, but our assessments are far more taxing.
I only have 3 more weeks of school before we close for the summer!!!!! (Ok. Now's the time to do a cartwheel for me. This time, if you genuinely care, you wouldn't mind if someone were looking at you!)

Just Gotta Share This!

2011-05-18T14:57:00.003+05:30

Look What I found!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soAk3F0wX9s&feature=player_embedded#at=184

Nanmaisms - Part I

2011-05-11T21:20:00.001+05:30

Me: Nanma is a.....?

Nanma : chata boxth

Me: Also a?

Nanma : Daama keen

Me: And also a.?

Nanma: Comedy pish

Yes, my daughter is a chatterbox, drama queen and a comedy piece. Each unique name has been bestowed upoon her by her parents and uncle. The latest nickname she has is "vazhakaali" meaning ' naughty one' in Malayalam.

So here are some of her most recent sayings

We went to Kerala to visit my grandma and went with her to her ancestral home to meet her youngest brother. When we reached the place I told Nanma "This is where Velliammachy (great grandma) lived when she was a baby. I thought the whole concept would be lost on her.... ah ah... not my little one. Just as we were getting ready to leave she poked her head out of the car and yelled to her great grand uncle "This is my Velliammachy's house, OK??" Needless to say, her Velliammachy has fallen in love with her all over again!

About 2 months ago, we were grocery shopping. Nanma was riding the shopping cart while Ashwin and I picked out our stuff. Suddenly Nanma lifts her hands up and shouts at the top of her voice "Thank You LORD!!! Thank you Lord!!!" ......Yikes!! We do feel happy that she thanks God for his provisoon, but not like that!!!!

One day she declares that her Amma is a 'good boy' ' pinjesh' (princess!!) - she sure can make my heart smile!

Last night we had this conversation....

N: Amma, say sorry.

me: why?

N: Say sorry, Amma!

me: is this a game?

N: yes.

me: Ok. Sorry.

N: Inim cheyalle Amma. ok? (Don't do this hereafter. Ok?)

me: ok.

N: Inim school pogalle ok? (Don't go to school hereafter)

According to Nanma the people in her family are - Nanma Anna Jacob, AshinAppa Anna Jacob, AmmaAppa Anna Jacob and PaatiPaati Anna Jacob. (Paati is our Nanny/maid.)

Since Ashwin got back from Poland, he had to go away this weekend to attend his cousin's wedding. Nanma thinks all he does is get into airplanes and fly around the sky!

One night, I was putting her to bed. She was stubbornly refusing to close her eyes. Frustrated, I asked her "Why are you doing this?". Keeping her little eyes fixed on the ceiling, she replies "Baby peshanam (preshanam) ondo nokkuva" (Baby's looking for a problem)

Last Christmas we attended a fundraiser concert where Nanma's favorite uncle aka Uppaapa was performing. According to her his band sang "Ding dong murungakai"*. Any guesses as to which song that was?? To my non-south Indian followers, 'murungakai' is a vegetable found in my state and is used in making Sambhar- Nanma's favorite curry!

About 2 weeks ago, Ashwin's aunt wanted to watch our wedding video so she could get some ideas for organising her son's wedding. Nanma was super excited to see Appa and Amma on TV. She looked for herself and couldn't find her. When her grandfather asked her where she was while the wedding was happening, prompt came the reply - "Baby car-il irikuvaarunnu!" (Baby was sitting in the car!)

I have no idea how she came about calling herself "baby". Ashwin and I love the name we have given her, and call her only by that name. But she seems to think 'baby' is better. What do we do?

That's all for now......... more to come later!

A Short Story

2011-05-05T11:50:00.002+05:30

Here's something I found as I was grading papers today. This is a short story. Children were given picture prompts and asked to write a story. This particular Japanese boy has improved his English in leaps and bounds. He can communicate quite effectively however, he still uses a lot of invented spelling.

I thought his spelling for this piece was just adorable and wanted to share.

Tina make a sandwaitch

Tina wants to make a sandwaitch. But she kuddend reatsch the pakitsh of bread. Then she tolk a chare! Then she was standing on the chare but she koundenned reatsch the pakitsh of bread. Then her father kame and gafe the pakitsh of bread to Tina. Then she was happy, now she kould make the Sandwaitches.

Can you see how hard he has tried to spell words like 'couldn't ', 'package' and 'reach'? I'm so proud of him!

WARNING!

2011-05-04T11:54:00.001+05:30

This funny poem was posted on the door of our teachers lounge. I quickly googled it and thought I MUST share it with you.

WARNING !

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

- Jenny Joseph

Then I went on to youtube to see if there were any readings of this poem and found these 2.

This one is a reading by Jenny Joseph herself. She is now old enough to be wearing purple, hoard pens and pencils and pick flowers from other people's gardens.

This one is read aloud by a little girl. This video is actually a cancer awareness video for Royal Marsden Cancer Hospital, London.

A Happy Update!

2011-05-03T08:08:00.003+05:30

So I asked Ashwin's 2 best buddies if they'd drive me to the airport . You see my hubby had forbidden me from calling a driver or hiring a taxi so late in the night. Both of them (bless them) volunteered until they heard the time. Ashwin's flight was to land at 3am!!!! So Div (aka Macabreday) backed out and Marky (aka Babu) had the privilage of waking up bright and early to chauffeur me to the airport.

I jumped up and down and waved as I caught a glimple of Ashwin walking towards baggage claim. The I remembered his plea the other day. " Please, please don't make a fool of yourself at the airport. No crying, no garlands or other pranks pleeeeease!"

And so I thought... " OK. I'll just have to clasp, unclasp, twist and wring my hands out till he comes out."

After what seemed like an eternity, I got to see my husband - beaming from ear to ear and a few kilos heavier. I guess I'll have to blame all the pork and sausage in Poland for that. Anyway, we drove home, listening to Ash show off all the Polish he'd picked up and me putting up with all the "get a room, guys" kind of jabs from Marky.

Anyway, We reached home past 4am and about 5 minutes later Nanma woke up crying. I told her I had a surprise for her and brought her into our living room. As soon as she spotted her Appa she lunged forward and leapt into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, clung tight to him and stayed that way for some time. It was such a sweet sight to see. She had been missing him a lot and every night she would say "Appa will come tomorrow". And now he's here!

It took a while for her to get back to sleep. She wanted to sleep between us and kept hugging and kissing Ashwin until sleep took over.

Sigh! I'm terribly tired now. I'm at school. Kids haven't come in yet and I don't know how Im going to get through the day with just 2 hours of sleep behind me. And yet, this is a 'happy tired' feeling.

Tomorrow is here! The sun is brighter, the grass greener, people are lovelier and life is just happier having the love of my life back home!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow.....

2011-05-02T12:46:00.002+05:30

Presenting - My slightly modified version of the song from the old favorite musical - "Annie"

"Ashwin will come back - tomorrow

Bet your bottom paisa that tomorow

There'll be fun

Just thinking about tomorrow

Clears out all the cobwebs and the sorrow,

Till there's none.

When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely

I'll just stick out my chin and grin and say...

Oh Ashwin will come tomorrow,

So Deepa just hang on till tomorrow,

Come what maayyyyyyyyyy

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love you tomorrow

You're only a day aaaaaaaawwwwwwaaaaaaaaaay!

And tomorrow night, I will hear that dear, familiar, most comforting sound of snoring right beside me!

After the Royal Wedding.

2011-05-02T08:38:00.002+05:30

I watched a part of the Royal Wedding vis Youtube's free live streaming from the Royal channel.

It was beautiful. Kate looked lovely. Both the princes looked handsome and a little nervous. The hats looked ridiculous as always. Westminster Abbey looked lovely and I thought the small trees placed inside for decoration were a brilliant idea.

However, what struck me most was that once the minister started speaking, it was like any other Christian wedding. I loved listening to the Bible passage they had chosen to be read aloud. It was from Romans 12. Kate's brother did a wonderful job of delivering it.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

He read some more, but I thought I should present just this part, as I do hope, and will be praying that that stand by these words.

One of my single friends posted this as her status on facebook - "A fairytale wedding lasts a day. A fairytale marriage lasts a lifetime. I'd rather have the latter"

Truer words were never spoken!

My Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T09:57:00.002+05:30

So.... Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married today. So what's that got to do with me, eh?

Well, nothing really.

But then, I've always been a sucker for beautiful weddings. I enjoy looking at flowers, cakes and wedding decor and so I'm curious to see what it's going to be like for them. They look happy enough on TV, and every time I see them on screen I say a silent prayer for their marriage. Marriage has its hard times for even the perfect couple (Me and Ash??) But imagine the added stress of public scrutiny thats already on them! I hope they find happiness in each other and cherish the love they share. I hope that they remain faithful and model a good family to millions watching them.

um... ok..... I also have a confession to make. As a young girl, Prince Wil was one of my first crushes. I guess it came from knowing that the only way I could become a real life princess was to marry a prince. Ha ha...

So, am I heartbroken? a twinge of jealousy towards Kate maybe?? NO way!! Whatever said and done, I know I hate it when even my nosey neighbours want to know what's happening at home. Imagine a life where you have a Royal Photographer tagging along on your family holidays!

And then again, I used to also dream of falling in love and marrying a man who sang, played the guitar and rode a big motorbike. And that dream was more persistant.....And it did come true!! So what if my wedding cake was a horrible mess, and my florist gave me all the wrong flowers? I had a beautiful wedding ceremony and I married my own prince charming - the man of my dreams!!

And also, I happen to be the daughter of a king - the King of Kings! That makes me a princess, and my wedding a Royal Wedding!!

It Hurts

2011-04-26T23:26:00.004+05:30

I learned a lesson tonight.... A big one. And I want to share it with you. I am totally expecting some hateful comments, but I stand by what I say. 100%

This evening, Nanma was acting up way more than she usually does. She seemed to be focusing all her energy into repeatedly doing what she very well knows she isn't to do. Now we have a discipline system going at our home. At our home, the natural consequence for what cannot be corrected after 3 time outs is an adi. (spank)(Don't jump at me now!) .

Now Nanma got one adi. She cried. It was hard for me. And she was warned that doing the same "bad thing" again would result in another adi. She told me she wouldn't do it again. And then, barely 5 minutes later, she was back at it!

This time, I was more upset than angry. I hate having to cause my one precious daughter pain. But I knew I couldn't let it slide with just a warning because then she will understand that she could get away with anything if she does it again. I told her I was going to give her an adi. I saw that look of fear cross her eyes. It was p.a.i.n.f.u.l to see that. But then again, I knew I had to do it just to make her understand that I mean NO when I say no!

My eyes teared up as I told her that her defiant behaviour was making me sad. I reminded her of my warning and told her I love her. But I have to give her an adi. I cried. It truly hurt me more than it hurt her to give that adi. ...... I know. Because I have heard my own mother tell me that "adi chufying" me as a kid hurt her more than it hurt me. I never understood it then, but I do now. I've felt my heart being wrung out as I watched Nanma go through an illness or even cry at vaccinations, but this one hurt far more than all those!

And as I held my crying toddler close, and whispered in her ear that I loved her more than she'd ever know, and that I was happy she wouldn't do it again, something suddenly dawned on me.

This is exactly what God was feeling like about me... or even worse! How many times did he watch in sadness as I committed the same sin over and over again! And it probably hurts him far more than it hurts me to watch me face the natural consequences for my actions! And oh my goodness, if I love my daughter so very much, how much more does he love me!!!

Gosh! This is what He means by "The Father's love" !!!!!! God - my heavenly parent!

This blog post might seem ridiculous to you if you don't believe in disciplining your children, or even if you don't have kids yet. But trust me. I feel it, and Its real!

P.S. Appa & Amma, I know you're reading this. I'm so so sorry for the pain Ive put you through. I never understood what you meant till now. Love you so so much!

Strawberries

2011-04-24T23:46:00.007+05:30

I read a blog about a family that went strawberry picking and of course memories came flooding in.

I had been in love with strawberries ever since I knew they existed. Growing up in hot South India, I had never tasted one, and yet I loved the luscious red of the strawberries I saw in recipe books. I would pour over my mother's "foreign" recipe books and imagine myself eating this one creation called the 'strawberry bombe'.

When I was 11 years old, my parents went to Switzerland to attend a Christian seminar for a month. And then since they were in Europe the decided to make use of the god given opportunity and the genorisity of overseas friends and relatives to tour a few countries in Europe. When they asked me what I wanted, I asked for 3 things.

* Sand/soil from every place they visited. (So that I could out it on the floor, walk over it and say I've touched foot on Swiss, Italian, German and English soil)

* A denim skirt with a slit ( It was in fashion then!)

* Strawberries, or at least a picture of strawberries in a bush.

(You ask me again, and my list would surely be different!)

Now my parents sent me a picture of a strawberry bush they saw in Switzerland. But by the time they reached England - the last leg of their tour, strawberry season was almost over! Now my parents felt terrible about not bringing me straberries and so on their last day there, they somehow managed to source a small box of strawberries. How they managed tot get it through the security, an intercontinental flight and 2 transits is still a mystery. I guess airport security then was nothing like it is today. They actually carried it in a little plastic bag all the way from Heathrow to Madurai Airport.

When I finally got the box in my hands, my mother warned me. "Mole, this isn't very sweet. ok? It tastes a bit like mulberries" . It didn't matter to me that out of the 15 odd strawberries in the box only 6 were edible. Of course I felt bad, and I had to share it with my cousins. But I took one in my hand, held it by its stalk and bit in. As the tart pink juiciness filled my mouth, I knew one thing. All those strawberry flavored Arun Icecreams I had had in the past had got it all wrong. The real thing was fantabulously better!

My cousins didn't like it too much and my grandmother didn't understand what the fuss was all about. " Oh puliyum ichera mathiram um ondu. Thats all" (Oh its sour and a little sweet.) But for me, the scent of strawberries , albeit a little stale lingered in my mind. I used the small plastic container to hold my hairclips for a while.

When I was 13, we spent our summer break in Orissa at my aunt's mission hospital. And there they had a whole strawberry patch! I spent lazy evening strawberries right off the bush to my hearts content.

My love affair with strawberries continues. Now that I am older, and thanks to globalization, I see fresh strawberries in my fruit and vegetable shop every week and at any time of the year! It still is quite expensive and I cannot afford strawberries on a regular basis. But every once in a while, I treat myself and Nanma to some yummy homemade strawberry lassi or frozen yogurt.

** Pictures courtesy Spoonful blog

Goofiness!

2011-04-19T16:14:00.000+05:30

We have a lot of fun..... Nanma and I.

Eskimo nose rub!

Ah!

Bleeeeeeeh!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

ooooooo pout

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Aw! That was fun, wasn't it?

Oh wait! Someone's not done yet!! One more funny face...just for laughs!

Ashwin

2011-04-16T02:34:00.009+05:30

One of Ashwin's friends from college was chatting with me the other day and mentioned how he couldn't believe his old friend was now a responsible husband and father. Unfortunately for that poor guy, Ashwin had already been gone to Poland when we chatted and so he had to put up with line after line after line on google chat of me singing my darling husband's praises.

That's how it is. Whenever one of us is away is when the other realizes just how much we need the other. And you, since you're here and already reading this, let me warn you. If you are a girl, you may finish reading this post feeling dejected that the best man on Earth isn't yours. And if you're a guy, you might develop a serious complex.

ASHWIN:

When I first ever saw him, he had no idea I existed and I had no idea he would one day be my husband. My college band was competing against his and I loved his voice. Now, 9 years since then, he is my rock.

I wish he would sing even now, but he dislikes being in the spotlight. He's the total opposite of what I am. While I am impulsive, have a wild imagination and am a scatterbrain and a chatterbox and love being the center of attention, Ashwin is quiet, practical, and level headed. Before going out to buy something, he does extensive research, downloads manuals, read reviews and more and I..... I just go ahead and pick up something that catches my eye! I love holding hands in public and he hates it. I love romance and he sometimes has no clue how that works......And yet, he is the love of my life.

Oh and didn't I tell you? Might have slipped my mind.... he's mighty brave too! Look at him holding those two snakes from his parents' backyard!

Ashwin is an amazing dad. Before marriage, I knew he would be good with kids because somehow I could see that in him even when he didn't. And as our little Nanma grows older, I love watching the adoration in her eyes when she talks of her Appa. The idea of God as our father was always the easiest for me to relate to because of my awesome father. I know it'll be the same for Nanma. I will always remember the day when we were pregnant, we walked out of the hospital after our 13th week ultrasound and as Ashwin started the car, I noticed his eyes were full. My big hulk of a husband was tearing up thinking of the wittle wigglly baby in my tummy!

Oh he is a big softie, you know! You might not think so, and I know for sure the people who work under him at office don't think so, but I know! He loves planning surprises for me and usually manages to make them happen without curious me interfering. He can be a clown, but only Nanma and I see that side of him.... even his best buddies don't see the silly dances and the funny faces he can make!

Ah! I love him so so so so so much!

He's big,

He's handsome,

He's a cuddle bear

He's a thinker

He's funny

He's a good singer but

He's a horrible dancer

He's my favorite photographer

He can be romantic

He's sincere

He's loving

He's thoughtful

He's my man

He's my soulmate

He's my prince charming

He's my ROCK!

And I miss him a LOT right now!

:-(

Updates

2011-04-13T15:28:00.002+05:30

So..... Here's whats been happening at the Jacob household.

Last week my darling husband left for Poland. He was sent by his company on work and will be back next month.

sigh!

OK, How am I doing? Not too bad. My school's 2 week spring break began the day he left. (sad!) And I spend a nice week with my in-laws and now am at my parents. Nanma and I have been quite busy. I turned a year older last week. We even managed a 3 day visit to Kerala to be with my Ammachy there. I got to meet an old college friend and her two adorable litle girls!

I am so thankful for technology. Skype makes long distances so much easier!

Nanma hasn't quite understood whats happened to her Appa. Although she says "Appa gone to Poland" she thinks he is in Bangalore!!!!! Every night before bedtime she says "Naala raavale Appa verum" (Appa will come tomorrow morning) . Right now she thinks he's gone to live inside the computer because thats where she sees him every night.

Nanma has been extra extra clingy with me, now that Ashwin is away. I'm so glad I have my family around me at this time. Being at my hometown is always such a stress reliever. We sleep in late, enjoy the green outdoors and the clean air, Nanma splashes around in her inflatable "Shimming pool" and I get to eat the yummy food from my childhood and teens.

I wish I could upload some pictures here, but i left my camera cable at home and my dad's card reader doesn't work....

hmmm.... So thats the update from my side.

What have y'all been up to?

Seriously! What was he thinking?

2011-03-29T12:47:00.009+05:30

Ever been to this blog cakewrecks? They have some really funny cake disasters out there. Here is the story of my very own cake wreck.

Like every other girl, I had been planning my wedding since the time I knew weddings existed. I had a bridal bouquet of my dreams, a wedding Saree of my dreams, a floral archway of my dreams under which my husband and I would stand and take pictures, and of course the wedding cake of my dreams. Now my idea of a dream wedding cake was something like this.

It would be a simple looking, 2 layered rich chocolate cake- covered with smooth white icing and a red ribbon border. I did not want hearts or roses on it. I certainly did not want bride and groom figurines on top.

Anyway, the big day finally came close and (finally) I got to meet my florist who was also the one who was to do my cake a day before the wedding.... yes, 1 day before my wedding. ( this is what happens when you live in a tiny little town, your folks live in a big village and your groom and prospective parents live in a big city where the wedding will take place)

I showed the man (the florist shall henceforth be referred to as 'the man' ) a picture of my dream bouquet. This is what he told me "White roses ma'am? Sorry. Can I use carnations instead?" I am so glad I said no and went ahead with another more expensive florist because I am pretty sure the man would have destroyed it!

He then proceeded to show me pictures of grotesque, ugly cakes. I refused each one and showed him the picture of what I wanted. He actually had a picture like the one I wanted in his portfolio! I said I wanted dark chocolate cake - all cake! (Chennai wedding cake bakers are notorious for icing over cardbaord and leaving just a small wedge of actual cake for the couple to cut and eat!)

Anway, after a beautiful wedding, and riding on high, high, high spirits (the feeling spirits - not alcohol!) we walked into our reception hall.

Can you see the shock on our faces. We were looking at the monstrosity that was to be our wedding cake.

An ugly PINK, green and red ..........three tired..................cardboard cake.........with an uglier mound on top..... with the ugliest plastic bride and groom figurin

es I've seen till date!

Ugh!

I kept asking Ashwin as we walked in .... "Is this a joke? what is this....where's my cake?"

And to top it all.... I think he - the man- gave us the cake his parents used at their wedding, because it took us about two minutes to cut through the hard concrete frosting to get to the cake...... only to find out it was fruit cake - which we both HATE!!

We're laughing in these pictures because, even a cake as ugly as this cannot dampen that utterly delicious feeling of being just married with our whole lifetime ahead of us!

But now, as I think about it, I wonder....

What was the man thinking?

*When I said "chocolate cake" he heard it as "fruit cake"

*When I said "2 tiers" he heard it as "3 tiers with actual cake only on one layer. The other two can be cardboard with frosting over it!"

*When I said "white cake with red ribbon", he heard it as "mix white and red and make a pink cake"

*When I said "no figurines" he heard it as " Ugly plastic figurines standing on a mound of pink frosting please"

We had an off white and red theme going on for the whole evening. He had done the flowers in that theme.... seriously! What was he thinking?

Anyway, if nothing, it made for a good story I can tell my children and grandchildren. And of course, you my dear readers got good laugh out of it!

I'll Love You Forever

2011-03-16T08:34:00.010+05:30

Nanma and I have this game . After her bath, I wrap her up in her hooded towel (which barely wraps her up from head to toe now!) and I carry her to the bed to get dressed . But if Ashwin is around, then I place my bundle in his arms and we pretend she is our 'kochu baby' (tiny baby).

Nanma loves this . She also points to a picture of herself all swaddled up in our arms as a newborn baby and says "Adhu pola kochu baby" ( A tiny baby like that) .

Last night as I carried my freshly bathed and wrapped bundle of love into our bedroom, she looked up and noticed the ceiling. Eyes and mouth wide open she looked around, noticing things she never had paid attention to before.

That sweet scene gave me a lump in my throat . My heart did a little flippity flop as I was taken back to the day she was born . After screaming her lungs out for 5- 10 minutes and after her first feed, she lay in our arms, all swaddled up and wide eyed for more than an hour! she kept looking around, taking in all the new sights and a few familiar sounds! Everyone who saw her then remarked at how wide eyed and full of wonder she looked ( After gasping at how tiny she was, of course !)

Looking at her now, she 10kg+ almost 2, walking, talking, singing, dancing and drama queening.... I can't help but feel a rush of love and thankfulness take over me . Over and over again, I am reminded of the meaning of her name . GOODNESS . It isn't this little girl that's full off goodness . She is more full of mischief than goodness , but it is the God who created her.... He is so very good, I just cannot wrap my mind around his goodness !

Dear Nanma,

From a microscopic little embryo baby, to a screaming newborn, to a two year old, God has preserved and protected you . Your Appa and Amma still cannot believe He chose us to parent a little jewel like you . You have brought us more joy that we ever thought possible from a tiny little person ! In two years, our lives have changed more than ever before, and we can't imagine a better way to have it !

Sometimes Appa and I try to imagine what you will be like when you're older . We just cannot even think that far ! You are a very smart girl and you love to make people laugh. You are curious by nature and seem to love learning new words and ideas . You look at the world around you with such wonder in your eyes ! Our prayer is that you never lose that sense of wonder when you see God's creation and that little things in life give you pleasure all through your life. The God who created you and brought you so far has a plan for your life. And I hope and pray that we will be able to lead you the right way through the first few years of your life.

You're growing to be a big girl Nanma, but whenever I wrap you up in a towel after a bath, and I hear you say "Adhu pola kochu baby" I am reminded of Robert Munsch's book "I'll Love You Forever" ** and I sing that song in my head.

“I’ll love you forever,

I’ll like you for always,

as long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.”

Love,
Amma.

** Please go over to Robert Munsch's website . I am in love with his books . I personally don't have any for Nanma, but when she's old enough I can borrow some for her from my school's library. Every time I read one of his books, I feel like I'm back to being a 6 year old again! If I ever get to meet this man, I will go and give him one big bear hug!

Oh, P.S:

Nanma's birthday is on the 19th and that is Saturday. If you want to pass on wishes, hugs, cuddles or kisses, I'd be glad to!

It's your turn now

2011-03-11T15:59:00.005+05:30

Since you, my dear readers seem to only respond when I post light hearted, funny, nostalgic or cute stuff, I thought I'd let you do the ~~talking~~ writing.

So, please respond to this question even if you are just passing by and not a regular visitor.

What is one annoying habit you know you have but find so hard to change?

Oh! You want me to go first eh?

OK!

I have many of these, but since I asked for only one, I'll share only one.

Erm.... I take over conversations, especially when it is about something close to my heart - my hometown, teaching, disciplining children, and even sometimes GOD!

LOL! Now if what I just typed was too small for you to read, too bad! It's your turn now!

Nod, nod, Noddidy nod

2011-03-08T13:16:00.003+05:30

I found this today . Well, I didn't, someone else did and posted the link on their blog . Now I'm going to do the same .

Not because this is some tag or chain mail kind of thing in the blog world. (there's got to be a name for that. I just don't know) But because as I read this woman's words, I found myself nodding, nodding and noddidy* nodding in agreement .

And since I loved it, I'm sharing it with you !

It looks very very wordy, and it is . But please do me a favour and read it through till the end .

Just click here .... no .... HERE!

* I made up that word. I googled "noddidy" and there is no link to such a word . I'm the first person in the world to make up something so splentacular ! Be very thrilled that you read it first over here . Unfortunately 'splentacular' is already in use by some crazies like me or i'd have claimed that too !

Imaginary

2011-03-07T11:17:00.002+05:30

My lovely, laughing, likeable, loveable little lady will be turning 2 in 12 days time. She has always brought us immense joy, but over the last week, we've seen a new milestone reached in her life, that warms my heart and cheers my soul just to think of it.

Nanma has begun 'pretend play'.

When Ashwin and I prayed for our baby to be, we discussed what personality traits we wanted her to have. One of the things I wanted for my child was a creative imagination. Ashwin was not too sure about that because he thinks I have a wild imagination and sometimes fears for me! So when I saw Nanma pretending to be "Amma" to her dolls, I was thrilled!

Last week, she was playing with her HUGE teddy bear (a gift from a dear friend) . Suddenly I heard her say

"No! NO Paranjile? " (Didn't you hear me say NO?)

"Pinnem cheithal nere corner il pogum" (If you do it again, you'll go straight to the corner)

and then she proceeded to take her teddy to the 'corner' and said...

"sit!" and then...

"karayu! " (now cry!)

and then she stood there, with her arms folded, staring hard at the poor teddy. After a couple of seconds she picked it up. Gave it a hug and said...

"innim cheiyumo? illa? labu lu! goo girl teddybear!"

(will you do that again? No? I love you, Good girl teddy bear!)

And she hugged and cuddled her teddy bear.

* * * * *

Nanma was never too fascinated with dolls until now. Yesterday she unearthed an old doll - Emily - from her toy basket. She wanted to carry it all around. We had 2 birthday parties to attend and Emily came along for both. On the way, in the car she was pretending to put Emily to sleep. When Ashwin tried talking to her she said "Shhhh! doll sleeping!"

Later at our friends house, She went up to Ashwin and said "Appa, chuchu veruva" (Appa, need to use the bathroom). Turns out, it wasn't for her. Emily the doll apparently had to use the potty quite urgently. We rushed her to the bathroom where Nanma very gently, held the doll over the toilet and then pretended to clean her up.

Ah! I can't wait to play all the imaginary games we can play! I secretly hope she creates an imaginary friend. I never had one, but have a cousin who had an imaginary chinese girl friend, quite aptly named Noodle. And then another childhood friend who had an imaginary friend called "the boy" .

Fun times ahead!!

P.S. I can hear my ever practical, rock solid, stable headed husband groan as he reads this! Too bad Ashwin. This is your lot in life - to be irrevocably attached to two wild girls with untamed imagination!

Things I Miss

2011-03-03T14:35:00.002+05:30

In this big, brave new world, I now have a lot of things I've always wished for. And yet, me being the kind of girl that looks back on my childhood and growing up years with fondness, I miss a few things like ....

.... the extra spoon of Bournvita or Nutramul my Amma used to put in my cup of milk just so I'd be able to crunch on something as I drink my milk.

.... cooking rice outside on a brick stove with my cousins, collecting 'ola' (coconut leaves) and 'cheratta' (dried coconut shells) to light the same fire, taking turns to kindle the fire.

.... my grandparents - both Grandfathers and one Grandmother who are now up in heaven!

... jumping out of bed, brushing teeth and making a mad dash to class dressed in my pyjamas ( in college - we did this all the time and nobody bothered because it was a girls college!)

... waiting every night for my phonecall from the love of my life! We've been married almost 4 years now, and though I have him to have and to hold, I still miss those long phone conversations!

... singing. Especially singing with my old band - the Sitaphalbandies - queer name and queerer girls!

... my Hydrabad mess food - not WCC, no way! I think I'd die now if I ate the same food that was served to us in WCC!

... drinking Rasna. The Rasna we used to get when I was a kid. The Rasna in the markets now is just not the same!

... the excitement of planning my wedding

... playing in the river, skimming flat rocks on the water surface

... watching English movies almost every other week at the cinema for just Rs.6.50!

... evening chapel services at college

... reading comics on the bed with a bag of 'murukku' (a South Indian fried snack) for company.

...sleep overs and pretend play

and

I miss longing for the day I could have all that God has blessed me with now!

Poems

2011-03-01T13:21:00.005+05:30

I am teaching a unit on poetry to my 2nd graders. We've been reading some children's poetry so far and today, we were to start writing our own poems. I thought I'd encourage my students by showing them my own poetry book from when I was their age. So I brought my first

ever poem book in to class.

This is the first page in my poem "diri" (diary). I was 7 when I started writing poetry. My cousin Emme who is 3 years older, had come down for her holidays and I wanted to do EVERYTHING she did. If her favorite hymn was 'Abide with Me' it was mine too. If she marched around her grandparents home shouting "I am the heir to this house" then I did too! "I am the air to this house!" . So naturally, when she had a little book of poems, I wanted one too. So I got an old diary from my father and made it my ~~poem book~~ diri. If you're wondering what a 7 year old was doing with a pharmaceutical company's diary, let me remind you - both my parents are doctors. (~~sad life~~)

This was the first poem I ever wrote. I wrote this because Emme had a poem about their dog Brownie in the book. We didn't own a dog, but I knew my grandparents did own one ...er.... before I was born! I asked my Mother how Lassie had died. She said it was rabies. I didn't know what that meant, anyway, it didn't sound exciting, so I decided that in my poem Lassie had died of poison. Much more dramatic, don't you think? The last two lines of the poem are a literal translation of the Malayalam/Tamil phrase "paavam paavam" . There is no equivalent for that word in English. Those two words convey sympathy. Another meaning of the word 'paavam' is 'poor'. My Mother convinced me that 'How sad, how sad!" would be a more fitting last line than "How poor how poor!"

This poem was written a year later, while I was at my other grandparents house in Kerala. They live very close to a river and everyday, my parents would take me and my cousin there for a swim. I learned my swimming there. (Or at least I thought that was swimming until a more experienced friend saw me "swimming" and called it doggy paddling!) Anyway, this poem was written from my heart. It was, in retrospect, a "spontaneous overflow of emotions recollected in (the) tranquility" of my Appacha's old easy chair. I wrote it, felt quiote proud of my achievement and then when I went back to school, submitted it for our school's "Wall Magazine". I thought, if it gets published there, then I would send it to 'Young World' - a children's supplement in the newspaper.

It was rejected. Outright! The teacher in charge refused to believe that an eight year old could write this. She scolded me for passing off something written with parents help as my own work. I was crushed. I didn't write poems for a couple of years after that. And even when I did, it was for myself and my parents to see only!

hmmm.... that was a long time ago. Ive regained my ability to write and take rejection since then.

But one thing I know is that I will never, and I say a strong word like 'never' with confidence that I will never do what was done to me to any of my students.

Drink Deeply

2011-02-28T15:28:00.003+05:30

drink deeply

these two words that caught me off guard as I went through my regular reading list this morning have been ringing in my head ever since.

drink deeply.

I started off reading a blog of a woman who owns a horse. And she mentioned that on part of their ride they stopped by a little brook and that the horse "drank deeply". The moment I read those words I felt a connection.

Think of those two words with me . . . .drink deeply. . . . . what does that mean? I imagine a horse, weary from galloping over the mountains, stopping by a little brook to drink. And he drinks with almost his whole face in the water, drinking like there's no tomorrow. Drinking to satiate his thirst. I imagine the water cool and refreshing as it flows down his throat. I imagine this 'drinking deeply' takes about 4 - 5 minutes at least! And then I imagine that horse's contented face as he gets ready for the rest of his ride over the mountain.

And I want to be that horse!

I cant remember the last time I drank deeply of water - H2O. I have been terribly thirsty countless times, and I have glugged a litre of water at one go. But I haven't felt that satisfaction of having drunk deeply.

I guess this is what Jesus was talking about when he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, all those years ago.

As I type this, I am reminded of a song my mother taught me. And as I leave you with these words, I am waiting for that time, after my little one goes to bed, and before my husband gets back home, when I can do my own deep drinking.

Yayyy! God and I have a date and I will be drinking deeply!

Like the woman at the well I was seeking
For things that could not satisfy;
And then I heard my Savior speaking:
"Draw from my well that never shall run dry".

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

There are millions in this world who are craving
The pleasures earthly things afford.
But none can match the wondrous treasure
That I find in Jesus Christ my Lord.

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

So, my brother, if the things this world gave you
Leave hungers that won't pass away,
My blessed Lord will come and save you,
If you kneel to Him and humbly pray:

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up, Lord!
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole!

- Richard Eugene Blanchard

Out of the mouth of babes......

2011-02-24T23:45:00.002+05:30

She might fool you into thinking she's wise beyond her years (which is one year and 11 months to be exact) but she's still a babe. And out of her cute lil mouth came these words of wisdom and wit just today!

Today as I was walking her down our street, a lady stopped by and said "Hi baby!" immediately Nanma responds "Bye baby!". I was so embarrassed I just kept walking!!

She was sent to the "corner" twice tonight for some time out. The first because she rubbed banana all over our bedsheet, and the 2nd because she repeatedly made potty noises instead of talking to her grandfather on the phone. Both times, after wailing like a siren and crying her eyes out and after the 5 minutes were over, I picked her up and tried talking to her. And what did she say? "Amma smile pleesh!"

All she wants for her "bird-day" is a cake and candles and "Apidi to you" song. How I wish my wishlist was that simple!

Chinna Chinna Aasai

2011-02-17T08:23:00.004+05:30

The song "Chinna Chinna Aasai" is probably my only all time favorite Tamil movie song. Yesterday, the Kindergärtners at my school did a choreographed dance to this song as part of our 'India Week' celebrations. It brought back some very fond memories.

I think I was in grade 5 or so when the movie was released. We didn't have a TV at home and my family never encouraged us watching most Indian movies as they didn't approve of the content. I used to get all my "filmi" news from my friends at school. When this song came out, it was such a huge hit, and the lyrics were so clean and pretty that my parents allowed me to sing it and take part in a choreographed group dance on the song at my school. We never watched the video to the song, and I don't know how appropriate the video is, but still.... beautiful song.

Here's a loose translation:

"Little little wishes

longings that fly away on flapping wings

wishes like little pearl drops

longings I hope to fulfill

To touch the moon and give it a kiss

To have the world spin around me.

How I wish

I could turn into a jasmine flower

To catch the breeze and fling a garland over it

To touch the soft clouds

To leave all my worries behind

.....

I wish...

To dance along a paddy field planting saplings,

To catch a fish in my hands and set it free again,

To drape the rainbow around me

To fall asleep inside a snowflake.

Little little wishes

longings that fly away on flapping wings

wishes like little pearl drops

longings I hope to fulfill

To touch the moon and give it a kiss

To have the world spin around me."

Beautiful huh??

Teh next post -- My very own 'chinna chinna aasai' s .

Another picture heavy post.

2011-02-16T15:02:00.007+05:30

"Cham Ai Yam, Cham ai Yam, do yoo like geen egg a ham? " - Nanma's current favorite. Unfortunately we only have the paperback version of Green Eggs and Ham and so the book only comes out when Amma is around.

At our beach. With Nanma and her best friend/main rival- Samaya. Also known as "yaya" or "Chamaya". I call it "our" beach. But in reality, we share it with the others who live on our street on weekdays (like this one) and half of Chennai's population on weekends.

A close up of the lil foof we call 'Yaya'. Her mom (u can see her lovely legs in the BG) is my bestest friend and I do hope she and Nanma grow up to be besties too! As of now, they love hugging each other but are fierce rivals when it comes to toys, books and people they love.

Nanma goes to the beach to collect "shellish". We're trying to collect as many as she can. The blue thing in her hand is a sieve. She mostly uses it to dig. She loves digging a hole, putting her feet in and then covering it with sand.

Two chubby feet. My friends have always teased me about my fingers and toes. One of my prayers for my daughter was that she'd not inherit my finger and toenails. But God sometimes likes to tease me too, and so he gave her just that!

Us again! I still remember the first time we took her to the beach. She was 7 months old and HATED it. I guess the sand under her feet, the wide expanse of water before her and the cold water were a shock. She cried like...well, a baby! Now she's almost 2 years old and its so hard to get her out!

Cuddletime before bed. I will always cherish these moments. We tickle each other silly and then talk about all that happened that day followed by bedtime prayer. I know I won't have her as a little cuddly bundle for too long and so these times are precious!

Here's one I couldn't help posting. This is her potty face. Teh one thing that hasn't changed since she was about 4 months old. Don't worry. She's not in pain. Just concentrating.

My Classroom

2011-02-15T12:00:00.007+05:30

This academic year, I was blessed with a full size classroom. The amount of space I have now is terrific. How I wish all classrooms around the world were like this!

Most of the classrooms I had when I was in school were half the size of this and we had about 5 students and their schoolbags crammed into one long bench and desk. the number of students in a class varied from 35-45! There was one ancient blackboard, no fans, one rickety metal cupboard, and 1 plastic waste-bin. 6 years after I passed out from that school, I went back there to teach. As far as classroom facilities were concerned, there was one major improvement. Most classrooms had fans! There was also 1 computer lab for the school's entire population (1500 or so) with about 20 computers. As you can see, not much had changed. I think this is mostly because this was a private English Medium school in village that was growing into becoming a town. The school catered to the people living in the town and in the surrounding villages. I had many classmates who were the first in their family to receive any kind of formal education. The school fee as I remember it when I studied there was about Rs.800 a term.

Now compare that to the school where I work now. The school fee is so high that even with the subsidy available to faculty, I cannot dream of educating my children here. Almost anything I need to enhance my teaching, I have! My students say the words "poor people" like they belong in another planet! Their idea of India is dirty roads, 'poor people', Taj Mahal, the beach resorts dotting the coast and fab India. And yet, my students are smart, loving, and have young, impressionable minds. I know my calling right now is to work in this school, with it's almost entirely ex-pat population, because this is where God so providentially placed me. How I got a job here is another story for another blog post.

Anyway, here are some pictures from my classroom

This is the view from my desk. Remember I wrote about this earlier?? Love it. The building you see just below the sun, a little to the left is Tidel park. Or "taigal pak" as Nanma calls it.

This is my work station - my teacher's corner. My computer, printer, messy desk, messy bulletin board filled with family pictures.

This is the door, and the sign above it.

This is one thing we do everyday in our class. Yes, this picture was taken a few days ago.

My Smart-board! It is placed so low so that my students can reach up to it.

Reference books mixed with some others in the class library.

Floor cushions stacked up in the reading corner. Those are levelled books that you see in the tubs.

Of course I have to share my most favorite book with my class. So here it is- my own, lovingly, annually read copy of "Anne of Green Gables".

Here's a sample of writing from my class. Not the best, not the worst.

I have students from all these countries. Since taking this picture, I have now acquired 2 Finnish students.

One of my classroom walls. I also teach ESL content support to grade 4 twice a week. So the lesson on shadows are from that class.

What do you think?? Nice???

The good, the bad and the funni!

2011-02-10T11:52:00.003+05:30

So, my students were given this assignment. The prompt was "Write about a game you like to play"

Here are a few samples of what I read as I graded them.

One boy wrote - "My favorite game is the game of life." I was astounded. Such words from a little 2nd grader!...Well, my awe-ing was short lived because I read on to find that he was talking about a board game called "LIFE"

Another boy wrote about his Nintendo DS. After explaining with hand drawn illustrations on how to switch the thing on and what buttons to use, he goes on to say why he plays this game "When I play game, the bad is going out of my body."

Here's another one. "Tag is so, so fun. It's more fun to play inside the house. But not when Mom is there. "

And can you beat this? "Tag is so funi game. It is so fun that I can die"

Ever heard of these two games? "hide and sick and ronthn brage is foring down" You might have guessed the first one right. The second game? Why, 'London bridge is falling down' - of course!

Hmm...what's more fun? Playing or falling down? " Its so fun to run, and I fall down someni tims. I fall on the flore some 50 or 100 times, an more times I cant count!"

Not a serious post.....certainly not! Just an annoying one.

2011-02-08T15:41:00.003+05:30

I did a post on things that make me happy.... now its time for a list of things that annoy me.

>>I have a funny pain in my throat and my neck is aching from sitting at my computer, planning a smartboard lesson on the Indus Valley Civilization for my 4th graders. (yes!!! I have a smartboard in my classroom and it is the coolest thing in my room- next to the pink elephant Elle!)

>>The road that runs right in front of my school has been under maintainance for over a year. Yesterday I made the mistake of riding my bike over that(shorter) road rather than take the nicer, longer one-way route. The result - a backache that hasn't gone yet.

>>Some of my neighbors are extemely nosy! Last night I had someone knock on one of the windows, asking to see Nanma........ at 8:30pm!!!

>>Although I love taking Nanma to the beach, I hate bringing sand into the house. We have a tap outside our apartment where I can wash the major sand off our feet, but the sand on our clothes gets evenly distributed around the house and is a pain to get rid of! I guess this is the flipside of the coin!

>>We live on the groundfloor. And thanks to the nosy neighbours and the fact that our windows open into the open car parking lot, we cannot keep them open! What a waste of the lovely sea breeze.

>>I always thought nosy was spelt 'nosey'. My spellcheck says the opposite. It annoys me that 'nosy' doesn't look as pretty in print as 'nosey'. Then again, nosey isn't meant to be a pretty word at all!

hmm... I'll stop here. I have to go home. Since my back is aching too much for me to ride my bike, I have a ride with a friend.

See you all in a better mood........hopefully soon!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

2011-02-03T12:32:00.002+05:30

Angie Smith is one incredibly inspiring woman who's blog I was introduced to about 2 years ago. She started blogging to write about her 4th daughter Audrey Caroline who was diagnosed with life threatening issues in vitro. She and her husband Todd (He sings with the Christian band Selah) took the decision to keep the baby rather than abort. Audrey Caroline passed away shortly after birth.

Angie's blog is about her journey through this. A couple of months ago, Their youngest daughter Charlotte was born. I just cannot imagine going through what this family has been through, and yet they are able to inspire others with their close relationship with God.

Here is a post she wrote on another website she contributes to.

http://www.incourage.me/2011/01/sparrow.html

I read this today, and I found myself nodding my head in agreement to all she said. How many times have I sung the hymn " His eye is on the sparrow" and not really realized what it meant!

Go.... scoot.... go read that post. And then go on and read Angie Smith's story. It will not fail to move your heart.

It's a holdup. Give me your gems!

2011-02-02T21:46:00.005+05:30

Our bedtime routine with Nanma involves a bedtime prayer. Usually one of us says the simple words and Nanma repeats.

Tonight she decided to add a line of her own heartfelt request to God. So right after asking God to help her be a good girl she adds", with this cute head wobble she has... "Jeeshush gems tharane!" ( jesus, give me gems".

Gems here mean the tiny m&m like candy we get here. After her recent illness, her potty training had all been forgotten and she was making a huge fuss to sit on the potty. I have been rewarding her with one "gems" if she peed or pooped without a fuss. It worked wonders!

I guess madame is getting a bit too greedy now.

Words - they're so much more than that.

2011-02-02T14:35:00.003+05:30

I've mentioned before, that I have an amazing lady who stays at my home to help me with my housework and in taking care of Nanma when I am at work. This person - lets call her S- is about my Mom's age and has known me and my family since I was 5. He is amazingly patient with Nanma and I really don't know what I would do without her! Nanma loves her and calls her Paati (granny in Tamil) and has even named one of her teddies after her.

Yesterday, I got upset over a small issue. There was enough reason for me to get worked up and I think any mother would have, given the situation. But I chose the wrong way to react. My emotions come across very strongly for me and it is very hard to hide them. I chose the words I spoke very carefully. But not the tone in which they were delivered. After this little incident, I took Nanma out and we went for a walk on the beach. I had enough time to cool down and sort things out in my brain.

When S opened the door for us, I saw that her eyes were red and puffy and I knew she had been crying. I felt so bad. I apologized immediately for the way I spoke to her. I assured her that I was in no way doubting her capabilities and her love for Nanma. I told her again, what I had to say. Except this time, I was calmer and I got the (same) point across. Then she told me that she feels hurt when I speak angrily. She reminded me of how much younger I was to her. I apologized again, knowing how important respect for elders is in our Indian Society. Things were patched up.

And then I started thinking. Words. They're not just words in reality. I teach my own students about how stress at the wrong place in a sentence can alter the whole meaning you're trying to convey. But the tone of voice is so important as well! The words I speak can build or break someone.

Here's a quote from the Bible that sums up what I learned the hard way yesterday.

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

- James3:5-6

My babies

2011-02-01T13:40:00.002+05:30

I am a mother.

Even as a toddler I was mother……to my dolls.

At 16, I preferred rocking our neighbor’s baby to sleep rather than prepare for my board exams.

I have one daughter, and faith that God will give me more.

But….

I also have many ‘children’ scattered across the globe. Babies I’ve played with, become a part of my life. My mother used to find it amusing that every baby I played with would be the “cutest baby I’ve known”.

Some of my babies are all grown up now…That’s because I was 5 years old when I first started feeling a sense of ownership over the babies I regularly played with. My first baby will soon become a dentist!!! My second baby now volunteers with children living in poverty in the Philippines. ( I had the pleasure of having her at my home for a couple of days last week) Another baby, now in her teens is admirably strong at holding on to her faith and values amid peer pressure. She dreams of being a mathematics professor in Oxford!!!

The baby of the whole T clan is now finishing high school (though she calls it pre-university) and writes a blog where she comes across as someone wayyyyy beyond her years.

And me? I’m so grateful that these kids know me and acknowledge me as a part of their lives. I am proud of all they’ve accomplished and pray that they will continue to shine their lights for Jesus!

I am grateful for the community where I grew up. I know I am the product of my parents’ reliance on God and the investment these babies’ parents and others put into my life.

It truly takes a village to raise a child!

Thats why!

2011-01-31T15:15:00.002+05:30

Little BIG things I like about...

My husband:

He is not as open with his affection as I am, but he does these little things that show me he cares. Like charging my cellphone because I always forget to plug it in.

My daughter:

She likes to sit with me at the end of the day and talk about all that happened. She doesn't know the Malayalam word for "remember?" so she says "kandille?"(Didn't you see?) like "Kandille, Appacha paatu paadi" (didnt you see, Appacha sang a song).

My house:

Its less than 100meters from the beach!

My bed:

It is so so so comfy!

My maid/nanny:

She makes me yummy coffee when I wake up and when I get back from school. Her family runs a little roadside "chai kada" near my hometown.

My Amma:

She's the one person on Earth who has almost the same character traits as me - except she is certainly NOT scatterbrained and is probably the most talented person I've met. she cooks, she bakes, she sews, she mends, she talks, she sings, she draws, she cuts hair, and can fix almost any broken thing!

My Appa:

his quiet, calm, confidence. I've said a lot more about him here

My in-laws:

They just shower their love out on us!

My job:

I am never bored.

My honda activa:

I can navigate Chennai traffic better on this little black scooter than any car can!

My hands:

The wedding ring engraves with col:3:12-14 !

My chair:

It swivels!! (I'm in my office chair as I type this.)

My fridge:

It has some precious magnets on it.

The view from my window at school:

I can see the soccer field and a row of coconut trees.

My college:

the chapel. Which I wrote about here - my 2nd ever blog post.

My God:

He is awesomely awesomer than any person,thing or feeling I've ever known!

A rough, rough 2 weeks, and a few lessons learned.

2011-01-27T11:09:00.003+05:30

Hi there!

If you thought, since I posted so much over the last week, that I was having a fantabulous time, think again! Because honestly, it wasn't. When I feel down and out, looking back at the past really helps.

While the last week....and horrible 2nd week is still on, wasn't as bad as THIS week, it still was hard for me.

Here's what happened to our family:

Lil girl: stomach flu with HIGH fever for 4 days. She was like a zombie, refusing anything to drink and I spent so much time worrying about dehydration. 2 visits to the doc, battles over feeding her meds and sleepless nights.

The husband: fever, bad, bad viral bronchitis. One visit to an amazing doctor who charged Rs. 700 as consultation fee alone but got to the root of husbee's problem.

me: Totally worn out each night over a sick baby, a sick husband and a house guest. (She was so sweet and took all of these in her stride).... and then yesterday, I caught a cold!

So here's what I learned:

If you think your baby looks cute, she looks her cutest when she is sick! (I am not being mean. If you have a baby, you'll know)
Nothing shreds your hearts to bits like feeling helpless as your sick child cries "pleeeesh Amma, No medicines Amma!"
Your husband is also a helpless baby when he is sick.
The lobby at Apollo hospital is like a glorified railway station. The sea of people from all parts of India is mind boggling!
A doctor can charge Rs.700 as consultation fee and not feel guilty. My parents charge Rs.20! And even that only to patients who can afford it and even this, doesn't go into their pockets!
There are people who can come home to do a sleep study and it costs a bomb!
Doctors and hospitals are expensive outside the bubble of a medical community I grew up in.
Our friends really are friends indeed. They went out of their way to help us out.
None of us are as healthy as our parents were at our age!
Something HAS to be done about the above!

For my Appa on his 59th Birthday

2011-01-25T15:33:00.006+05:30

Dearest Appakuttan,

From the walks at Railway stations

And the talks on the terrace,

To the Sunday scooter rides

Through life’s many tides

You have seen me grow .

A few memories stand out:

Pretending to be asleep so you would carry me.

Chewing bubblegum onto your shirt.

Opening your suitcases in excitement.

Listening to your bedtime stories – Curly V and Emmaus.

Whispering Hope, Abba Father & Once to Every Man

The time you wore a suit just for me.

That first surprise ride to the Parapallar stream.

Seeing you at my graduation.

Talking about your first conversation with Ashwin

The hug at the end of my wedding aisle.

“Appacha? Huh? What? How can it be?”

Watching you play the same old games and sing the same old songs with Nanma!

Appa, I can’t thank God enough for you. I Love you so so so much!

Happy Birthday Appa, And as you enter the 6th decade of your life, I hope many, many more hearts will be healed and lives will be touched by you.... you are my first ever Superhero!

love,

Me!

a rooftop, stars, a song and God

2011-01-25T13:23:00.008+05:30

I am currently teaching the solar system to my grade 4 class. I have always enjoyed this particular unit because we get to talk about the sheer ‘awe-factor’ of the universe. This year, since I am also reading the book ‘Crazy Love’ by Francis Chan, I showed my class this video. How awesome is our creator God!!

Talking about the solar system and the stars and the “wonders beyond our galaxy” reminded me of this song that is such a dear song to my family.

It's a song from the 60's by Ralph Carmichael. But of course, I grew up in a place where time walks slower and so I grew up singing this song.

In the stars His handiwork I see,

On the wind He speaks with majesty,

Though He ruleth over land and sea,

What is that to me?

I will celebrate Nativity,

For it has a place in history,

Sure, He came to set His people free,

What is that to me?

Till by faith I met Him face to face,

and I felt the wonder of His grace,

Then I knew that He was more than just a God who didn't care,

That lived a way out there and

Now He walks beside me day by day,

Ever watching o'er me lest I stray,

Helping me to find that narrow way, He's Everything to me.

My family had a little tradition. Any time there was a serious issue that needed to be sorted, my parents would take me up to the terrace (roof) in the night and we would sit down on the floor and talk about it. Of course, there would first be denial, then tears, repentance, hugs, kisses, new resolutions, prayer and then after it all, we would lie down on the floor and watch the stars. One of us would eventually break out into singing “In the stars his handiwork…” and the other two would join in. These were such special moments and I learned lessons for life here.

At that time, I never bothered to know what the words of the song meant. All I knew at that time was that I wasn’t too crazy about the tune and it was a song about God creating the stars and the wind and stuff. But now, that I have this song ringing in my head, I’ve stopped and actually listened to what I was singing.

Yes, God is the awesome God who created the universe, and he does live in splendor beyond compare but my parents showed to me then that he is also a God who cares so deeply about a little girl’s deeds, and who is full of grace to forgive her once she has repented.

And I can’t stop thanking God for giving me such wonderful, godly parents!

The New Look

2011-01-23T23:15:00.002+05:30

How do you like the new look?? I am totally adoring how cute my blog looks right now.

Notice my new profile pic??

And my new About me??

Of course you noticed the new title!!!! (you probably need your vision checked if you didn't!!)

Well, this new look is tagging along with the new direction my blog's headed in!!!

2 pictures that speak a million words.

2011-01-22T22:22:00.005+05:30

There was a time when this was my favorite picture. My picture of the two people I loved the most in the world. This picture was taken just outside the labour room, right after Nanma was born. I asked Ashwin what he was thinking as this picture was taken. He said he was simply awestruck at God's creation.

When I see it, I see joy, pride, thankfulness and "Phew! Its over!" on his

face. This was one of my top favorite pictures....

until last weekend.

When this one took its place. And again, here are the two loves of my life, standing on the beach at high tide, looking out into the ocean.

Once again, this picture speaks a million words. When Ashwin posted this as his profile picture on facebook, a friend commented "she will treasure this when she is older". I do. And I certainly hope Nanma does too.

I hope that as she grows up, she will know what a treasure her Appa is!

Everything!!!

2011-01-18T15:25:00.003+05:30

Every experience God gives us,

Every person He puts into our lives

The Perfect preparation

For a Future

Only He can see

-Corrie ten Boom

Have you heard of Corrie ten Boom? If you grew up in a family like mine, you would have. (My friends and husband laugh at the fact that "Bible Trivia" was one of the games my cousins and I used to play!!) . We used to have her biography as a comic at my grandparents home. (we even had "Christian" Archie comics!!...yes, they exist!!! LOL!!!

Anyway, I came across this quote by her sometime ago,(May 27th, 2009 to be exact!), saved it on my blogger page so that I could write a post on it sometime in the future, and then forgot all about it. (people don't call me a scatterbrain for nothing!) Today, as I was looking through the 20 odd posts I started but never finished, this one stuck out from the rest. Imagine a young woman, a holocaust survivor, meets one of her tormentors who comes to ask her forgiveness many years later, and then is able to say this! What a life!

And I thought I'd just share it!

* After I posted this, I went on to Google Christian Archie Comics, and I found this. I have no idea how my Appacha got a bunch of those comics, but we had them all... I remember reading Johnny Cash's biography in comic form and 'The Cross and the Switchblade', one about a seagull and more.

Sometimes God says...Just wait and see!!

2011-01-17T11:36:00.001+05:30

~~Sometimes~~ very often I find myself doubting God and all that he is capable of. I think , quite foolishly, that he is limited by the deadlines I set or by the limitations of technology we have here on Earth. When God tell me, "Little girl, just trust me and wait", I, being the typical human I am, think he is saying "Oh, no, that's too hard for me. You think I have the time to be worried about your small issue when there's an earthquake's aftermath to take care of?" And so I give up praying, take matters into my own incapable hands, and end up with a stinking failure. But thankfully, that doesn't happen always. Usually, God finds some way to remind me of how waiting on him has actually resulted in me getting my prayers answered!

Like for instance, when I wanted to join this particular college for my B.A. Like I've told you before, I grew up in this small town mission hospital campus, where every other campus kid grew up to become a doctor.(all except 3) I had known from the time I was 2.5 years old that I wanted to NOT be a doctor. And as I grew up, I had this particular womens college in mind where I wanted to do my B.A. It was in the "big city" and I used to dream of studying there.

When the time came, I applied to this college and a few others, including one in Madurai - a small city closer to home. And then I waited....and waited.....and waited. I knew in my heart, that God would grant me what was best for me, but I still kept wishing it was what I wanted. Soon another girl from my class who had applied for the same course in the Madurai college was called for an interview, but I wasn't. I started panicking. What if I didn't get into my favorite college, and what if the Madurai one closed its seats too? What on Earth was God waiting for?? This girl had got lower marks than me and she was called!! I had nothing to do but wait and pray. And guess what?? I got into my dream college!!

After I finished my B.A, there was this particular institute where I wanted to get my masters in teaching English. This course was not available anywhere else in the country. There was a nation wide entrance exam and the sample test they sent me contained a few Math questions!! MATH!! the one subject that sends shivers down my spine!! I remember my parents sitting with me, helping me practice a few problems (after 5 years of having 'dropped' the subject). When I went to the entrance exam site, there was my former class topper and her friends, talking and making plans for the party they'd be throwing when the admission list came out. I was scared. The first list of those who had cleared the entrance exam came and went. My name was not on there. Thinking it was all over, I went ahead and joined the place that was my 2nd choice. I was disappointed and thought God had given up. But guess what?? I met my future husband there!! (I mean, I knew him from before, but we started our relationship there!) About a month after being in my 2nd choice, I got a call from the "premier" institute I had waited for. I was in!!! tearfully, I said goodbye to the place I had now come to love and moved to a new city, a new set of friends, and a long distance relationship which I had no idea then would lead to a wonderful marriage!

When I finished my masters, I applied to work in a school in Ooty. This was the school of my dreams. It was a Christian boarding school that my parents and I had visited when I was small, but the fee was too high for my missionary parents to afford. I was told that there was no teaching post available, but that I could work as a volunteer. I was thrilled!! Confident that I neednt look for jobs anywhere else, I enjoyed a long break with my friends and my family when I got news from the school that all their volunteer positions were full too. To say I was disappointed, is an understatement. Here I was, a 23 year old, with a good degree in hand, but jobless. I was crushed. Then the local school, where I had studied, offered me a job just 2 days before school reopened. That year was a tough one, but good for me. It was also a turning point in my relationship with Paunch, God and my parents. I am so thankful to God for that year. Before the year was over, I got a call from the boarding school. They wanted me as a teacher!!! Even better, they wanted to train me for 3 months to work with children with special needs before I started work. The call came just as I had finished one academic year as a teacher in the local school! How perfect was God's timing!! And look at me, doubting his goodness and his skill at planning my life out!

This, my friends is how my life has been. It has been instance after instance of God proving to me that he is faithful!

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. Deuteronomy 7:9

Please, thankyou gimme!

2011-01-13T15:07:00.005+05:30

We made it a point to speak to our little girl in Malayalam (our native language) since that would be the only way she could learn the language. You see, Paunch and I, though Malayalees by birth, grew up outside Kerala and so never learned to read and write our 'Mother Tongue'. We are more comfortable speaking in English and that is our first language. We do however know how to speak semi-decent Malayalam . So we decided to speak to our daughter only in Malayalam as she will anyway pick up English from friends and school.

Our little girl is now 1 year and almost 10months and talks non-stop. She is a smart one and has noticed that Appa and Amma talk to each other in English. So she has picked up a few bits and pieces. Here are a few instances of how she has used the language.

One day, as I was watching TV, I overheard her asking our maid "what u doin?" Our maid, who speaks only Tamil, didn't know what she was saying and so said ""Eh? Enna?"(what?) Nanma repeats herself again "what u doin?"and seeing the expression on her face, laughs hysterically, thrilled at the fact that she knows more!

There was a tub of pitted prunes on the table and Nanma was demanding that she have one. I said to her "Ask nicely!" She immediately switched to English and said "Gimme pleesh tank yoo poons"

Nanma has been asking random people " yo idea? " This she picked up from a TV ad for idea mobile phone services.

One morning at the breakfast table, Paunch opens the hotbox to see upma - a south Indian breakfast he detests. Seeing him, Nanma exclaims "O mai Gawsh!"

One of her current favorite things to do is make up stories. (she's my daughter after all) Her stories usually revolve around an animal and herself. Now that she is trying to speak English, we hear funny combinations of English and Malayalam words used in a story. Like for example, her story of the Lion who went "chading, chading, chading" (chadu = jump, the íng' comes from the anglicizing the word "çhadu'')

The New Year- A peek into whats to come

2011-01-10T11:11:00.000+05:30

Its been a little more than a week since my last post. I'm already beginning to like this new year. No, nothing fantastic has happened....not yet. But there's something nice about new beginnings, isn't there?

I've made a few resolutions. I didn't actually make them on 31st night. (That night was spent at a cousin's bachelor party! ) I made these resolutions over the last week. So far, by God's grace, I've managed to hold on to them.

Here's one change you will notice. You will be hearing a lot more about the God I love and serve in the coming days. I'm not going to apologise for that. I know I have a diverse audience reading this blog. You may not share my faith, but I have to share what I feel compelled to share. 2011 has brought a fresh start for me with God, and that is what I am most excited about this year.

I've resolved to write accounts daily (I haven't been doing that. foolish me) , to save more, to tithe without fail (haven't been doing that either - stoooopid me) and to strive to be a little less scatterbrained (my scatterbrainedness has actually brought me more grief than joy). I am also battling a very recent addiction to chocolate.

I will also be posting regular updates on my little foofoo - my bundle of goodness who seems at times to be nothing more than a bundle of naughtiness. She's growing up faster than I ever imagined she would !

hmm.... so folks, that's it...a sneak peek into whats in store for you if you want to continue reading here at my blog.

2011

2011-01-03T00:25:00.004+05:30

Appi Noo Yead!

Thats how we say "Happy New Year!" at our home. Here's hoping all you 44 followers and the other 'lurkers' at my blog have a wonderful, blessed 2011.

Looking back, 2010 was mostly good for me and our family. It was a year where we experienced God's love and his protection over our family. I am just humbled by this fact. I have heard of so many tragedies over the past year. Any of those could have happened to our family. I have seen families I've admired broken by divorce and families close to my heart dealing with the loss of a loved one. It makes me wonder "Why were we spared?".

We are far, far away from being a model Christian family and we certainly didn't do "something right". It is only God's grace.

My prayer for 2011 is that it will be a year where I personally and with my family will draw closer to God, relying on His grace to live each day and face the challenges that come our way. And that is my prayer for you too!

So, HAPPY NEW YEAR friends!

P.S : The first pic was taken on Christmas day. The one above is a few months old, but is our recentest, decentest picture. ;-)

I made garlic rolls!

2010-12-02T10:41:00.003+05:30

Since I am a teacher and all, I thought I'd do this post in classic Q & A style.

Question: Who likes garlic bread?

Answer: Me and my entire family.

Question: Who didnt know how to make them at home?

Answer: Me.... (oh yeah... and my entire family too)

Question: Who saw an amazingly droolworthy recipe for garlic pull-apart rolls here?

Answer: Me... (only me this time)

Question: Who kept going back to that webpage again and again for 3 days just to look at the said droolworthy garlic rolls and read the simple, step by step with pictures recipe?

Answer: Me. (Hubby dearest has kind of given up on blogs and lil girl can't actually read althought she can sing the "ae,bee,she,bee"* song)

*(the ABCD song)

Question: Who bought 3 different kinds of yeast from 3 different shops in the hope that one of those would work, because aunties living abroad seem to forget bringing good yeast when they come since nowadays since shopping for cute things for a grand-niece is funner than bringing yeast for an easily forgettable niece?

Answer: Me. (Yes, I'm weird like that! And I like long, made up adjective and adverb filled sentences, even though I am an English Language teacher!)

Question: How many people does it take to make one batch of garlic-pull apart rolls?

Answer: 4. One (me) to mix the ingredients, knead the dough and pop it into the oven. One best friend to baby sit the kids (hers and mine). two troublesome toddlers to keep ~~interfering~~ checking to make sure things are running smoothly.

Question: How did it turn out?

Answer: Wonderfully well. Garlic never tasted better!

Question: Who ate it?

Answer: Me and my whole family! (here we are again, in case u missed us) and my best friend and her whole family.

Question: How long did it take to finish

Answer: A wink. Don't know how long that is, go to a mirror, close your eyes and open it immediately. Thats how long!!!! *

* Ok. I admit. I exaggerated.

Question: Who's riding high on success and just the thought of making those rolls again?

Answer: Me! (Hmm... but that was an easy one! You should have guessed that by now!)

LOL... I loved writing this post!

The Toddler Creed

2010-11-25T14:32:00.003+05:30

I haven't posted in a while about my little kukku. She just turned 20....20 months, that is! And the past few weeks have been the most interesting so far. She has learnt a whole lot of new songs, communicates in short sentences,knows the names of all the babies in our church nursery, imitates all the people who go jogging outside our apartment, repeats her bedtime prayer after me and is self-proclaimed "aunty" to all babies shorter than her!

Two days ago, she changed her name from Nanma to 'Nainbow'!! I had just read to her from her picture book of Noah and the ark, and we were admiring the picture of the rainbow on it, and she declared. "baby paeru Nainbow" (Baby's name is Nainbow) Its been 2 days and she's still going strong on the name change.

As cute as she is, and as fun as she is to have a conversation with, we are constantly reminded that she is closer to the "terrible twos" than the wonderful one! Here's a poem I read on Amanda's blog today, and I just had to share it!

By the way, while you check out Amanda's blog, you should also go to her baking blog. I tell you, she has some serious talent! I got in touch with Amanda when I was planning Nanma's first birthday and she had some nice ideas for me.

OK... so here it is!

Toddler's Creed

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.

If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged...

I am toddler!

I'm an inspiring reader!!

2010-11-22T11:15:00.005+05:30

I'm an Anne-girl.

I have been in love with Anne of Green Gables since I first read the book as a 13 year old.

My Mom and I discovered the series one day at a hole-in-the-wall bookstore, while waiting for our train at Palghat railway station!! What an unlikely place to find this treasure!

My mother was on the lookout for 'good' books for girls to read. Until then, only "Malory Towers" and " St.Claires" were on her approved reading list. Nancy Drews were allowed with a little reluctance as Nancy had a "boyfriend" and that was not something she wanted me to be inspired by!!! So when she read the blurb on the back of this book, she was excited. I read the book over the journey and since then have read it at least once a year. The next time we traveled via Palghat, we bought the rest of the books they had in the series. (I don't think anyone else ever went to that bookstore after us!)

My love affair with L.M Montgomery's books continue to this day. There's always one of the books from the series on my bedside table. I think the reason I love Anne books so much is that I haven't found another book where I identify with the character of the book to such an extent that I feel had I been born last century in th P.E Islands of Canada, this book could have been about me.

Over the years I've inspired many of my friends to read the Anne books and almost all of them are fans too! The latest one to be bitten by the Anne bug is my friend Kavi!! I'm so glad there's one more thing we love together!

Here's a quote from the second book in the series - this book has the nicest quotable quotes

"After all," Anne had said to Marilla once, "I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but just those that bring simple little pleasures, following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string."

Life at Green Gables was full of just such days, for Anne's adventures and misadventures, like those of other people, did not all happen at once, but were sprinkled over the year, with long stretches of harmless, happy days between, filled with work and dreams and laughter and lessons

- L.M Montgomery (Anne of Avonlea)

And another one!

2010-11-12T14:27:00.003+05:30

I had just written and posted my last post and then I went on to do my recess supervision duty on the playground when this happened.

A cute (and by cute, I mean so cute you could have him for dessert) lil first grader comes to me asking for a hall pass to see the nurse. Here's our conversation.

Me: "Why do you need to see the nurse?"

boy:"because my head hurts."

Me:"How long has it been hurting?"

boy:"I dont know. I can't read time. But it happened at recess"

Me:" So it happened in the last 5 minutes. What happened? Did you hit your head somewhere?"

boy: "I don't know."

Me: "You don't know if you hit your head in the last 5 minutes?" (I'm beginning to worry by now...amnesia???)

boy: "yeah.. I don't know. Because my friend and I were playing close your eyes and run. So I dont know what I hit. I just know I was running and then there was a bump and I fell down. Now my head is hurting."

Me (trying in vain to control my laughter) Ok. here's your hall pass. Don't play that game again. It could be dangerous!

Rhymes with groom!

2010-11-12T10:34:00.002+05:30

The other day at class, I was asking my kids to think of words that rhyme with 'zoom'. Now this is not as easy as finding rhyming words for cat and bat, and so I expected to hear a few non-words in the list. After saying boom, room, doom and loom the kids were stuck and started making up their own words and I would tell them if it was a real word or not. :)

So then little boy A suggests the word 'groom'. I add that to the list and then ask him if he knows what the word means. He doesn't. No one else in the class knows the word. So I say, "At a wedding, the man who is getting married is called the groom. Have you been to a wedding? have you seen a groom? " A few hands go up. The girls are all excited and want to talk about the weddings they've been to. Then I ask " So who knows what a woman who is getting married is called? It starts with a 'B'...b..b...".

I see A's excited hand waving at me. He can barely hold himself together.

"I know... I know..... its broom!!"

Just a peek!

2010-10-21T11:55:00.002+05:30

How would you like to have a peek into someones brain. Just a little peek, not psychoanalysis. I would very much like to peek into my little girl's brain when I see that 'lost-in-dreamland' look cross her face. And I've wished a thousand times that I could read my husband's mind.

So just in case any of you felt like peeking into my brain, or even if you didn't until now, but some unknown force is driving you to continue reading here, I present.............. A few thoughts crowding my brain now!! *

*disclaimer
This a very randomy random post. So if you find it hard to follow my train of thoughts, don't blame me. I've warned you already - I am a scatterbrain.

I've just finished submitting my report card comments and I wonder how it will be received. It is very hard to write nice stuff when the kid actually drives u insane! I got a new student yesterday. That makes it 14 students in my main class. And that's a lot for me.

I've been reading "Rilla of Ingleside" these days and I've only managed to read a little before bed everyday. I miss the times when I could sit and finish a book in one shot.

I will be going overseas on work for 4 days next month and I miss my family even when I think of it. I don't know how lil girl will handle it, and I worry that she will be angry at me for this! But at the same time, I am going for a training in an area I am excited to be learning about, and I will be visiting a new country. yay!!

My ATM/debit card has been "swallowed" by the ATM machine 2 times in a week, and a cheque I wrote out bounced. I am frustrated with my new bank!

Little girl is picking up words everywhere. She loves imitating people and while her vocabulary has increased considerably, she has also picked up a few words I'd rather not have her use. Oh... and she has 12 teeth!! Her two front teeth are huge! (like me??)

Things are falling apart in my house, and I think its because we live close to the sea. I've had hinges on 3 shelves replaced and the entire cabinet under my kitchen sink has to be replaced! I wonder when I will have my own place...or at least a rented home where I know I will live for more than a year!

Tomorrow is UN day at my school and everyone dresses up in their national costume. I will have to wear a Saree. Which one, I wonder!! hmm... Maybe my red silk one with the black embroidered border. What jewelery should I wear, I wonder??

Oh.. and that reminds me, that hubsy's cousin will be here tomorrow, and I'm excited about that. We're still planning a FULL weekend for her. How exciting. I do hope our plans to go to dakshin chitra work out. I've never been there and I've longed to go for years now!

Aah!! every now and then my mind drifts to the place we stayed at last weekend - a nice home stay with a pool. It was so relaxing, and we spent so much time in the pool! lil girl LOVED it. She still asks me if she can go "chummal"(swimming).

Oof! And did you know, my lil baby girl is closer to being a 2year old than a 1 year old!! Where did the time fly??

OK... I'll stop here. Stomach growling. Time for lunch!

ok... one more line..........

I wonder how many spelling or grammatical mistakes this post has??? Hmm........ I'll keep wondering 'cos I'm not going back to edit!!

HA HA HA

I have 41 followers!!

2010-10-20T15:30:00.002+05:30

Ha ha!!

That title sounds funny. But its true! I checked my blogger dashboard today and found that 41 individuals have made settings to alert them whenever I post a blog! I didn't realise that many people read this blog!

So, this post goes out to you, my dear followers. I have no idea why I deserve this honour, but I am mighty thrilled!

I promise to put up a post soon... (You do know that soon is a very relative term, right?)

love,
me
the scatterbrain!

Mirror Mirror!

2010-09-08T10:52:00.004+05:30

'The scariest moment in parenthood is realizing your child is turning out to be just like you.'

I read this on a blog today, and I know its true of me!

Our lil angel has tried testing our limits from the day she was born, but never with as much intensity as she has over the past two weeks. Paunch and I have been to a parenting workshop, and read our fair share of books on it. We get parenting advice from our parents, experienced and inexperienced friends and even strangers in the supermarket! Basically, we are fed up to our teeth with advice!! But nothing has prepared us for this battle of discipline.

The most difficult part of this battle is looking into the eyes of this little girl we helped create and seeing ourselves in her! How I wish children inherited only the nice things from their parents! When I tell her not to do something, I realize I am guilty of the very same things I tell her off for!

It's humbling.

baby see, baby do.

I've always been the Big Sister to all my cousins, and have always been the 'pleasant girl' who my Aunts would ask their daughters to follow after. But my own daughter sees me for what I am, and she imitates me. As she grows older, I feel like I am mother to mirror. Well, that's just a metaphor. You get it right? ha ha

So, over the last 2 weeks, I've come to realize that the most important thing I can do as a parent, is to make my life one that my precious daughter can model hers on.

Wish me luck!

P.S. This is a oooold picture, taken when lil girl was 10 months old. She will soon be 18 months!

My Almost ‘O.n.e D.a.y’

2010-08-20T11:13:00.001+05:30

So guess what? I got something very close to my ‘One Day’. It happened over last Friday and Saturday.

You see, apart from being a wife, mom, teacher, part-time homemaker and employer of a live-in nanny/maid, I also took on the added responsibility of doing an online course for teachers from the Univ of San Diego as part of my professional development. Smart huh? (phew! that previous sentence was loooong!)

Anyway, so I bravely took on this course as I thought I could finish it over the summer break. But, hubby, baby and lady (maid/nanny) took up more of my time than I thought they would. So on the 12^th of August, I suddenly realized that my final assessment paper was due on the 13^th and that given my situation, I would hardly have time to meet the deadline. So on Friday (the 13^th!!!!) morning, my dearest Paunch (in case you didn’t know, he is my husband, the man I love, cherish and obey) drove our maid/nanny (henceforth referred to as Akka) and my bubbly, babbly baby over to his parents place to spend the whole weekend!! He was going to be away for the weekend anyway.

So when I came back from work on Friday, I had the whole house to myself! Ah! The sound of silence! I snacked on nutella and marie biscuit, drank iced tea, sprite and tang to keep me going, worked on my assignment, then at 10.pm, went with friends to watch Inception, came back, made a hot cup of stronnnnng coffee, worked on my assignment, took facebook breaks, and finally went to sleep at 3:00am!! I loved it! It was like reliving my college life, except that I missed my crazy bunch of girlfriends in hostel.

How amazing was it? Too good! I realized I hadn’t had time like this just for myself in more than 3 years!

Did I feel bored? No way!!

Did I miss my family? Only three times. First, when my MIL called asking about Nanma’s night routine – I felt a sharp pang of ‘missing’. Second, when Paunch called to tell me he had boarded the train and that he misses me – one awww….slight ‘missing’ moment. And last, when I finally hit the bed and it was all for me – I missed the snore and the cuddle.

Would I do it again? Certainly! Especially since I now know that my lil girl is perfectly fine staying with her grandparents.

Wait…. I’m not done!

The next day, I woke up at 9:30. I thought I might sleep longer but I was just a little too excited at the prospect of the whole day ahead of me. I made pancakes for breakfast, watched some TV, read a few chapters of my book in the loo (luxury!), took a loooong beauty bath, booked a time at my favorite beauty parlour and got a pedicure, hair oil massage and hair spa. It was a lovely lazy day. I reached my in-laws place by 4 that evening. My Chakakuru was thrilled to see me and I, her.

All was well!

Now I’m looking forward to a weekend trip with Paunch where its ONLY the two of us, and then my O.N.E D.A.Y sometime in the not too distant future.

Just one thing!

2010-07-26T02:29:00.004+05:30

I've said earlier this blog that I have got everything I really wished for, and I'm saying it again. All through life, I wanted these 3 things more than anything else.

I wanted to be married to an awesome man who shares my faith, sings, plays the guitar and owns a big bike. I got him!! The only thing here is that his beautiful, big, vintage motorbike is lying unused at his parents home now that we own a car!
I wanted to be a teacher. I am! I love my calling and I think my job rocks!
I wanted to be a mother , and to a baby girl if possible. I am!! She's cute, she's cuddly, she's a bundle of laughs and I fear I'll jut gobble her up one day!

So what more could I want, eh? Well, there's one more thing I want. I want it so very badly, it hurts every time I think of it...(in a nice, longing for a cold icecream on a hot day kind of way

And this is what I want.

I want one day

O. N. E D. A. Y

24 hours

One day, where i can get away from the man I love with all my heart and for whom I waited and prayed all my life!

One day away from the baby I birthed and love more than I ever imagined possible by me!

One day away from my students,

One day away from my home,

One day away from my friends and anyone I know!

Just One Day, where I dont have to be responsible for anyone or anything.

I'd like to go away, maybe check into a hotel, get room service, lie in a tub lined with scented candles, wear a towelling robe all day, not answer my phone, get a massage, a new haircut, read at my own pace, fall asleep reading and then wake up and read without worrying about what to do next, swim in a pool, drink a ton of freshly squeezed lime or orange juice, not brush my teeth.....................and not think about whats happening at home.

Just one day.

And I'll remember it for the rest of my life!

words words words....

2010-07-06T11:21:00.004+05:30

Do you have memories of the first time you learnt a new word?

I do!

I think I was about five when I learnt the word 'cozy'. I had made a little "house" for myself out of two chairs and a bedsheet and I had made a bed there and was making myself and my dolls a cup of "coffee" with flour, water and sand when my mom's friend came over. She saw my "house" and said. "What a nice cozy little house! Is it cozy in there??" No one needed to tell me what the word meant. I knew it in my heart. 'Cozy' became my favorite word and remained a favorite for a loooong time.

Another word I remember learning was (oh oh....not so good a word) 'damn!'.......... Ha!! When I first heard it said, I thought the person was saying 'dam' like a water dam. I had a dog called Dashie as a kid. She was half Dachshund and half Pomeranian. She was a funny but cute looking dog. When an older friend saw her for the first time, he said "Your dog looks dam(n) cute!" I thought, since water dams are usually beautiful places, dam(n) means something beautiful. And so I bravely used the word at the dinner table when a missionary was invited over for supper. I asked him "Have you been to Pachalur? The place is damn beautiful!" There was a short silent pause. The missionary raised his eyebrows and my parents were embarrassed. I was asked to explain where I learnt that word and my parents heaved a sigh of relief that in my mind it wasn't actually a "bad" word. Anyway, I learnt my lesson. I don't use that word any more!!!

Growing up in a Christian community, I never used bad language. Never felt the need for it. The worst words I used to use were 'stupid' or 'fool' and such. So the stories of how and when I first heard foul language and what I thought the words were are really funny!!! I cant put them all down here on my blog because my parents and people from that community who read my blog (but never come out to tell me they did!!!) would be scandalized. Anyway, let me say that when I thought people were saying axe oil, a little kitten, a groovy kind of music etc. they were actually meaning much worse!!!

Here are some good words I remember learning - epitome - from what a person who once had the chance and rare privilege of sitting next to Mother Teresa on a flight said of her "She is the epitome of kindless".

scope- From my favoritest of favorite books Anne of Green Gables. She talks about "scope for imagination"

Oh there are many more! My brain is very fond of making associations and almost every word has a picture attached to it!! But for now, to share with you, these are just a few!

Surprised by God

2010-06-30T00:26:00.003+05:30

Here is a poem by Susan Lenzkes - my most favorite poet. I found it recently and it has helped me a LOT. I just wanted to share it

There's a place where the

wounded soul goes to hide,

a place that cannot be reached by

human caring,

though it nods at the effort.

It's a dark retractable placce,

without windows and doors;

a place where the soul would be

more alone than it has ever known

unless Someone -

SOMEONE able to walk through walls -

was not already there waiting.

From When Life Takes What Matters by Susan L. Lenzkes

Update

2010-06-05T14:08:00.003+05:30

Presenting...........

The ever smiling little lady of our home, who loves sitting on her best friend's chair, allows her Amma to do up her hair, only to take it all off 5 mins later,

Who loves, eating fruit, and when asked to share, will give the tiny piece in her mouth rather than offer a bite, whose high chair is lying unused in our balconey,

And who sweetly allows her Amma to disguise her as a local roadside rowdy, and whose "Ai La bees" (I love you) and "I Love aah's" Fill our hearts to the brim.

She is a living reminder that God indeed, is good. She is a living reminder that the best is always yet to come, and that God cares not about our past, but our future. She makes me want to be a better person. She does! And for her and only for her have I been the least scatterbrained Ive ever been in my life.

I love you baby girl!

Quirky Me!

2010-06-04T12:14:00.002+05:30

The other day, as I was talking to my friends, I asked them "Do you ever talk to yourself? Aloud" and one of them said "Never!"...hmm... Well, it was quite a surprise to me, because I thought it was natural to do so... when no one's around, that is!! my friends thought i was funny, and cute for doing that. I think its just a kinder way of saying " You're queer, but we love you" . Anyway, that got me thinking about my quirks.
I thought I'd share them with you.

I talk aloud/think aloud when I am alone at home or walking somewhere, even when I'm riding my scooter on a lonely stretch.
When I'm in a public restroom and there are cubicles, I always take the 2nd one. Never the first or the last!
If I am walking to a meeting or somewhere that I'm a little nervous about, I count my steps. I dont remember the final number, and I most often get the numbers all muddled up, but I just start over... i just count.
When I see a burning candle, I have an irresistable urge to dip my little finger in the wax.
I love love love water, and I love getting wet - be it in the rain, a swimming pool, the beach or anywhere else where there is water.
My most fervent prayers and conversations with god are done in the bathroom, while showering.
I am a visual thinker. I am horrible at math and have pictures for all numbers from 0-100. After that, only important numbers (I deem them important) have pictures like multiples of 5 and numbers like 101, 911, 365 and such.
I dream everyday. I even remember dreams from my childhood. My dad is a psychiatrist and so he encouraged me to share my dreams at the breakfast table
I talk, laugh, cry and sing in my sleep. I dont sleepwallk but I sleep sit.
I once sent my mom an SMS at 4 am in the morning, in my sleep because in my dream, I had just come home after para gliding and I wanted to tell her I was safe home. I got a call at 6am the next day from a very worried mom who wanted to know where I went at 4 am!!!
I can hold semi-meaningful conversations with other sleep talkers (my parents, cousins and husband are witnesses to this)
I'm lazy. I'd rather take the elevator than climb stairs.
I am very touchy, huggy and kissy with my family but not so even with my closest friends.
I believe in happily ever afters and i cry at movies (even ones like 300)

hmmm.... thats all i want to share for now, but there are more.

I AM quirky.

Pardon???

2010-06-02T16:13:00.002+05:30

Last week, a 4th grade beginner ESL student, a Japanese girl me :
"Um.... Ms. D, what is rokaa-ru go-baa mentoo?"
"Excuse me, what??" I say as I go over to her. She is reading from her social studies text.
"What is this Ms.D? Ro...kaa-ru.... Go-baa.....mentoo?" She reads slowly this time, hoping it will help me understand.

You wanna know what the word was??

really??

Ok... if you do, then read on, but do stop by to comment and congratulate me on NOT laughing out loud but controlling myself (very hard for me) and helping this girl pronounce it right.

The word??

LOCAL GOVERNMENT
RO-KA-RU GO-BAA-MEN-TOO

If you were a fly on my classroom wall

2010-05-28T12:53:00.004+05:30

My kids.

I have two kinds.

First, it's my baby girl and the next one(s?) to come. (No. Not pregnant. I just know in my heart that I'll have more kid(s?) some day)

Second, my students. They were my 'kids' long before a lil tiny peanut started growing in my tummy. And though in my life, they'll never be on the topmost rungs of my priority list, they still do matter a lot.

So, here are a couple of things you would have heard if you were a fly on my classroom wall this past week.

Every morning, my class sits in a circle on our colorful alphabet rug for a "morning meeting". Here they get to share exciting/boring/happy/sad stuff they've experienced. Sometimes they get to do a "show and tell". So this particular day, a little girl was talking about how her baby sister was crying all night and her parents couldn't hear her as their door was locked. This started an arguement among the kids as to why the parents couldnt hear the baby cry. So one kid says, "I can't hear any noise, only sometimes, when Father and Mother jumping on the bed" to which most of the kids agreed, that, yes, their parents like jumping on the bed too!! Ooopsie! Time for the next activity!!

We are currently learning about natural disasters. After reading aloud from a book about earthquakes, I told them about the time when I was in college & we felt the tremors (aftershocks of the Gujarat Quake). Immediately, they wanted to know "Did people die?" and I said "Not in Chennai, but in Gujarat, many people died)". Pat came the next question from 2 little mouths at the same time "What about you?"

My little grade 2 troopers went in to a 3rds grade class to watch their "Rainforest Presentation" . They watched as the BIG 3rd graders put up a fantastic show on the the rainforest ecosystem. The word 'mating' was thrown around quite a bit as the 3rd graders presented facts about the diffrent animals that live in the rainforest! (On an aside, did you know that Jaguars mate once a day? ) On the way back, I heard one boy ask the other "what is mating?"
Other boy: "Oh, it means making friends."
This boy: "making friends? like classMATE?"
Other boy: "yeah"
This boy: "Hmmph! Then I am mating everyday too, at recess and lunch break, and even in class!"

HA HA HA...

A little cloudy too!

2010-05-20T11:19:00.006+05:30

Being a teacher is not always sunshine and happiness as I seem to portray in my blog most of the time.

Sometimes, it can be painful.

For me, there's nothing worse than seeing a bright, capable student's life be ruined by the choices their parents make for them!

I have a little boy in my class. Lets call him M. When I saw his name listed under my class, I groaned. I knew him to be pretty unruly. I have this system in my class. I have these 4 boxes that you see in the picture above. I have all my students names written on Popsicle sticks and put in the first box. The label sticker on it says "very good". I work on the assumption that all my students are good and that they follow the class rules. BUT.... If they break a rule, then the Popsicle stick with their name goes into box 1. This is their first warning. If they break another rule, then the stick goes into box 2. If the stick goes into box 3 then they have to spend some time sitting on the "thinking chair" thinking about their actions.

It works well. Just as I expected (i am ashamed to say this now) for the first month of school, M had to sit on the "thinking chair" almost everyday! I knew he had a shorter attention span than most in my class and that he was the spoilt youngest son of his family. But then he started improving. I was thrilled with his progress.

Then one day he came to me, all sad and low and said his family was going to move to another country and he didn't want to. He didn't want to make new friends. He only wanted to stay here. I felt bad for him, but felt confident that his family would make him feel better about the move. The next day, he came to class all chirpy and cheery and announced to all that his parents had promised him a puppy when they relocated. The whole class cheered. From then on, everyday, he'd find some way or other to to talk about the puppy he'd be getting.

A couple of months later, at parent conferences, I mentioned to his mother that he was so excited about his puppy. She tells me nonchalantly, "Oh I just said that to him to make him feel better about moving. I don't think it will happen. I cant be cleaning after a dog too!"

I was shocked. How could parents do something like this??? I told her as calmly and as politely as I could of how disappointed her son would be. It's not in my place to tell a mother how to treat her son. This is one of those times I've felt so helpless!

Just today, I asked the same boy why he was so distracted in class. I asked him what he had for breakfast. (It does matter!) he says "Choco pie"!!!!!!

"Do you eat this everyday?"

"No. Sometimes I eat jam and chips"

This.... my dear friends is choco pie. Biscuits coated is sugary chocolate, with a sugary cream filling. Sounds nice, but a horrible, horrible choice of breakfast food for a 2nd grader on a school day!!! No wonder he was bouncing off the walls and couldn't get one thing done in class today!!

arrrrrrrrgh!!!

This is just one example. The other day, I found another boy who had brought 2 chocolate covered chocolate muffins as lunch to school on two consecutive days! Who packs his lunch? Mom! What did the same boy bring to drink on a field trip?? Red Bull!!!!! RED BULL!!!! A 7 year old!!!! When the parents were confronted what does mom say" "What can I do, he insists on eating and drinking only these!!"

arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!

One of my colleagues was telling me how sad it was for her to have to tell parents of her student to be proud of their child. I feel sad for these kids. I hope for them that the teachers who come into their lives leave behind firm, positive footprints for them to follow!

Stepping Stones

2010-05-16T00:20:00.004+05:30

This is a post I wrote a little less than a year ago. For some reason I couldn't complete it, and so I didn't publish it. Today, I think its the right time. One of our dearest friends lost their unborn baby this week and as they and we come to terms with the loss, here's something that spoke out to me. .........Read on.

Two months ago, we went on a trek to the waterfalls near where my parents live. This is not a regular tourist spot, but is tucked away between a farming village and the Palani Hills. There is no road leading up to the waterfalls, and so getting there is a long, dusty and ardours climb.

We like it that way!!

No proper road means no tourists. The only people you'll encounter along the way apart from the people in your hiking group would be wandering goatherds or sometimes...just sometimes,a bunch of college students looking for a quiet place to drink/smoke/gamble/and whaterver else they do on the sly, without being spotted!

It is a rocky place, and you pass big, beautiful boulders the way. You have to cross the little stream running down from the waterfalls in two places at least before you reach your destination. The stream runs on a rocky bed, so crossing the stream would be very tricky and dangerous if not for the stepping stones. In fact, whenever we trek up there, I've always marveled at the wonderful way in which these rocks have been placed by God or some person in just the right places to enable us to cross the stream and reach our breathtakingly beautiful destination!

And then soon after I came home, I read this on some blog. Since I'm completing this post almost a year later, I dont remember which blog to offer the credit to.

"No moment from my God is a rock of burden, it's just a rock waiting to be broken apart into stepping stones."

How true! As I look back on my life, I see the big boulders that came my way, I see things I used to value so much, and people I thought were my life, I thought they were my pride and joy, and then they came crashing down the waterfall and were smashed into smithereens. Each little roughly cut rock of memory caused pain. But with time, And the smooth, clear crytstal water of healing God poured over me, as I forgave and was forgiven, these became smooth, rounded, stepping stones. And as I step on these stepping stones, they keep me from falling into the water.

And I will one day reach that beautiful destination!

My dear, dear friends, I am praying for this, for you.

Amma Elephant!

2010-04-22T12:54:00.003+05:30

Thank you dear friends for your encouraging emails and comments in response to my previous post.

Now for a few laughs.

My little chakakuru is one year and one month old now. Yes she is! I'm not lying. Time flies faster than a fruit fly!! LOL (ok. Im now officially a 'mommy joke'-er)

So now my lil L5 has started babbling a few words here and there. She comprehends way more than we give her credit and loves imitating noises. She loves being read to. And I'm so thrilled about that. So yesterday, I was reading her this book that had Mommy and baby animals as characters. Since we speak to her in Malayalam, I replaced the names Mommy & Baby elephant in the story to "Amma Aana" & "Baby Aana" , dogs to "Amma bowbow & Baby bowbow" and so on. Now she knows what most of these animals are. She identifies 'bowbows' on the street and calls out to them; identifies cows, goats, rabbits, ducks, frogs, crows etc.

So when I asked he "Where's baby Aana?" she pointed to the right picture. But to "Where's Amma Aana?" She pointed to me!! Where's "Amma bow bow?" Again...me!!!, Amma Hippo? Me! Amma Snake? -the right one. Amma chicken? Me!!! Amma turtle? right answer!

Now what am I suppossed to make of this?? I know I've gained some weight after pregnancy, but my daughter thinks I resemble an Elephant and a hippo!!! And do the prancing and dancing I do for her remind her of dogs and chickens??

HA HA!

Gotta leave you with this picture of her. It all happened in a split second. We were at the beach. I turned my back on her for a few seconds.

Well, but this is still better than the time we went to a bookstore and she pulled out a magazine from the rack and tore its cover!!! I had to buy a silly fashion magaine with nothing but pictures of various celebreties in their designer clothes for a hundred rupees!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!