So far, by God's grace

Monday, January 17, 2011

Sometimes God says...Just wait and see!!

Sometimes very often I find myself doubting God and all that he is capable of. I think , quite foolishly, that he is limited by the deadlines I set or by the limitations of technology we have here on Earth. When God tell me, "Little girl, just trust me and wait", I, being the typical human I am, think he is saying "Oh, no, that's too hard for me. You think I have the time to be worried about your small issue when there's an earthquake's aftermath to take care of?" And so I give up praying, take matters into my own incapable hands, and end up with a stinking failure. But thankfully, that doesn't happen always. Usually, God finds some way to remind me of how waiting on him has actually resulted in me getting my prayers answered!

Like for instance, when I wanted to join this particular college for my B.A. Like I've told you before, I grew up in this small town mission hospital campus, where every other campus kid grew up to become a doctor.(all except 3) I had known from the time I was 2.5 years old that I wanted to NOT be a doctor. And as I grew up, I had this particular womens college in mind where I wanted to do my B.A. It was in the "big city" and I used to dream of studying there.
When the time came, I applied to this college and a few others, including one in Madurai - a small city closer to home. And then I waited....and waited.....and waited. I knew in my heart, that God would grant me what was best for me, but I still kept wishing it was what I wanted. Soon another girl from my class who had applied for the same course in the Madurai college was called for an interview, but I wasn't. I started panicking. What if I didn't get into my favorite college, and what if the Madurai one closed its seats too? What on Earth was God waiting for?? This girl had got lower marks than me and she was called!! I had nothing to do but wait and pray. And guess what?? I got into my dream college!!

After I finished my B.A, there was this particular institute where I wanted to get my masters in teaching English. This course was not available anywhere else in the country. There was a nation wide entrance exam and the sample test they sent me contained a few Math questions!! MATH!! the one subject that sends shivers down my spine!! I remember my parents sitting with me, helping me practice a few problems (after 5 years of having 'dropped' the subject). When I went to the entrance exam site, there was my former class topper and her friends, talking and making plans for the party they'd be throwing when the admission list came out. I was scared. The first list of those who had cleared the entrance exam came and went. My name was not on there. Thinking it was all over, I went ahead and joined the place that was my 2nd choice. I was disappointed and thought God had given up. But guess what?? I met my future husband there!! (I mean, I knew him from before, but we started our relationship there!) About a month after being in my 2nd choice, I got a call from the "premier" institute I had waited for. I was in!!! tearfully, I said goodbye to the place I had now come to love and moved to a new city, a new set of friends, and a long distance relationship which I had no idea then would lead to a wonderful marriage!

When I finished my masters, I applied to work in a school in Ooty. This was the school of my dreams. It was a Christian boarding school that my parents and I had visited when I was small, but the fee was too high for my missionary parents to afford. I was told that there was no teaching post available, but that I could work as a volunteer. I was thrilled!! Confident that I neednt look for jobs anywhere else, I enjoyed a long break with my friends and my family when I got news from the school that all their volunteer positions were full too. To say I was disappointed, is an understatement. Here I was, a 23 year old, with a good degree in hand, but jobless. I was crushed. Then the local school, where I had studied, offered me a job just 2 days before school reopened. That year was a tough one, but good for me. It was also a turning point in my relationship with Paunch, God and my parents. I am so thankful to God for that year. Before the year was over, I got a call from the boarding school. They wanted me as a teacher!!! Even better, they wanted to train me for 3 months to work with children with special needs before I started work. The call came just as I had finished one academic year as a teacher in the local school! How perfect was God's timing!! And look at me, doubting his goodness and his skill at planning my life out!

This, my friends is how my life has been. It has been instance after instance of God proving to me that he is faithful!

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. Deuteronomy 7:9


  1. .. And then there are prayers for which the answer is a firm 'NO'. Those are the toughest. When I hear a 'no' I first pretend I didn't hear it, then I make excuses that its not from God ( who am I kidding!), then I go ahead with MY plan.Rather late in life, I learned to wait and listen. As I was telling someone.. try driving with a GPS and just not following one direction from 'her'.
    Maturity is when we hear a 'no' from God and accept it like we accept the 'Yes'. ( I have miles to go before I get there!)

  2. @Makettles: I Know what you mean. What a nice illustration!

    @Cuppa: Thank you!

  3. That was beautiful Deepa! Thanks for sharing it. A wonderful testimony of God's faithfulness and blessing. We need never to worry on what might have been. Hope it's ok if I link to this sometime. God bless! A thought on Makettles comment - sometimes it's difficult to know if it is a 'No' or a 'Wait'...

  4. @Amy & Arpit: Thanks! Feel free to link to it. I'm beginning to get over my feeling that I have to be anonymous in order to speak my heart.

  5. Wow. Beautiful post.
    I remember so many instances in my life when things didn't happen as I'd planned. Nonetheless, what followed was far better.
    Now I always remind myself that God is watching over me and He knows best.