I really appreciate Stay at home moms and their dedication. I do not mean to say that one is easier or better than the other. Please understand that in this post I am only talking about my situation, and not anyone else's.
It's funny that almost all the "Mommy Blogs" I follow daily are of Stay-at-home moms. (SAHM). Making the decision to continue working after Nanma was born was not easy. And for a long time I swayed back and forth between guilt and confidence in my decision to work.
To understand my story, we need to back track a bit. Motherhood was something I wanted to experience right from childhood. Somewhere along the line between a kindergartner and a college student, the desire to become a teacher crept in and took a firm hold. My grandfathers on both sides were living examples for me of people who answered their 'calling' and lived by faith.
People outside my family expected me to follow in my family's footsteps and become a doctor. But very soon it was apparent to me that being a teacher was my calling. I've mentioned countless times before on this blog that I love my job as an elementary teacher. So when I got pregnant, the question of quitting and becoming a SAHM came about. (The recession was in full swing and my husband's job security was at an all time low.)I felt myself being torn in two directions. After much prayer and with the support of my excellent family, most of all my awesome mother in law, I decided to continue working.
Funnily enough, Christians I admired turned around and began criticizing me for my decision. This hurt. . . .very badly. They told me I was neglecting my duty by working. I was ridden with guilt every time I had to leave home early and Nanma cried out for me. The first few months back to work were torturous in some ways.
Slowly I began realising that this is indeed what God had called me to be. A wife, mother and teacher. I have fixed working hours. I am back home by 4:30 latest. We have scheduled Nanma's naptimes so that she gets enough sleep during the day and is awake and waiting for me when i reach home. God blessed us with Susheela Akka - our Nanny/maid who lives with us. I spend all my time right from when I reach home till Nanma goes to bed, with her. I am happy, Nanma is happy and so is Ashwin!
I used to worry about missing major milestones. But by God's grace, I didn't miss a single one! I managed weaning, teething, walking, pacifier weaning, bottle weaning, potty training all of it over weekends and school holidays. I can't really say "I" managed it, cos I believe God had a major part to play in it as well.
My fears of having a child that loved her Nanny more than her mother turned out to be just that - fears. One of my favorite verses is this : For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - 2 Timothy 1 :7. Being a working mom has meant teaching myself to be more disciplined. I might not be able to get my mani-pedi-facials done as often as I could earlier, and I might not be able to sleep in or take an afternoon nap with Nanma. For me, work has not come ahead of my child and I hope that will always be the case. I have had some wonderful times with my daughter and am confident that the fun times will continue.
Many Christians are often quick to judge working mothers. I cannot speak for all mothers everywhere, but I do know this. God has called me to be a mother and a teacher. And I for one am happy to follow my calling.
Like I said in my last post, I don't know what the future holds. I might not always be a working mom. But I do know this - Satan tries his hardest to convince women that others around us are right in their criticism. But I'm wiser than him in knowing with all my heart that God knows best! Being a working mom isn't easy. But then I have the support of a God who gives me daily grace and strength.
I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. - 1 tim 1:12