It has been 6 years since I last wrote a blog post.
It feels like it has been 16.
A few months back, I had the privilege of being contacted by an old blog reader. She told me she had in her home, a framed picture of a story I had shared from my grandmother's collection. I was so moved! When I began writing this blog, there wasn't much thought put behind it. But slowly it had become a way for me to record and process my life as it happened. Somewhere along the way, feeling intimidated by all the people who know me personally who had begun reading my blog, I stopped. Life was also getting more complicated.
I had written about my struggles with endometriosis and infertility. Looking back at my posts, I can see the grief and the pain with which I wrote them, and also the hope I had that God was seeing my pain and my deep desire for more children, and that he would do something about it. I am so glad I can write a happy ending, or rather a fresh new beginning to that story. Here is what happened.
In 2018, I was advised to go for a complete hysterectomy, but I held on in hope for another year, hoping God would work a miracle and treatments would work. At the beginning of 2019, my endometriosis was so bad, even after medication and other, more conservative surgeries that I could no longer function normally. So the decision was made to go for that complete hysterectomy that was advised a year earlier. But now there were fresh complications. And yet, my heart was at peace knowing my God would lead me through this as well. God did his thing, and made it possible for me to have this surgery done in the comfort of my hometown with the best possible surgical team. Surprisingly my post-operative period was far less painful than the week before surgery! I made a quick recovery.
Ashwin and I took our time but we made the joint decision to register for adoption. (This itself is a story of waiting in faith) By this time, Nanma was 10 and we expected her to become a big sister by the time she turned 11. However, that was not to be. The Pandemic hit in 2020 and in India, the adoption process came to a complete standstill. The wait was hard, but we pushed through. Finally, 3 years and 7 months after the day we registered for adoption, we were matched with our second daughter. In our long wait we had decided on a name - one that matched with Nanma, sounded simple enough for anyone to pronounce and had a lovely meaning. But the moment I laid my eyes on our baby girl, the words "She is hope fulfilled" came to my mind. And right along that was the name Asha - which means hope in Hindi and desire or wish in Tamil and Malayalam. We had waited so long in hope, and finally here she was!
Nanma and Asha have a nearly 14 year age gap between them. They love each other and drive each other crazy at the same time. We can hardly remember what life was like before she came along. Of course, life isn't easy. I have taken a career break to be a stay-at-home mother. Raising a teenager and a toddler in the same home has it's own challenges on some days. But we wouldn't have it any other way. On the difficult days, I remind myself that this is what I was praying for. This is what I hoped for.
I don't think I will be blogging regularly, but I will keep my blog open. Because there are things I've written here that have impacted a couple of lives. I myself find it therapeutic to read them sometimes. If you stumbled upon my blog and are curious, read on!
If you're wondering how to get started on the adoption journey, click here. CARA is India's only legal adoption avenue.
I hope my story inspires you to trust and hope in the God who created you with a specific purpose in mind.
