So far, by God's grace

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I don't want a "Good Girl" Lord!

"Good girls don't do that!" is something I find myself saying about 20 times a day!

For all her cuteness and charm, Nanma can sometimes behave like a little devil! There are days when she will do the EXACT opposite of what we tell her to do. I have lost count of the number of times she has embarrassed us in public and I've silently prayed, "Lord, please get me out of here!"

Just the other night, I told her not to do something. She went ahead and did just that, and then went on to face the consequences I had warned her about without flinching. I have always known she is strong willed. But that day, I began fearing for her (and us!) "If she is like this now, what is she going to be like as a teenager?"

I see some of the kids she plays with at school and Church and I wonder why she cannot be so "nice".
"What am I doing wrong?"
"What are others thinking of me as a mother right now?

And then today I read this article by Lysa TerKeurst. Just what I needed. Here is an excerpt of what she says in the article.
If you are a parent struggling with this area too, I would encourage you to go and read the whole article. I'm going to try and change the way I pray for Nanma. And I am going to try to remember that her strong willed ' ness is not my doing, but a gift that God is going to help mold into a terrific character trait!

"I cried all the way home. Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.

I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good. . .

. . . Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along."

- Lysa TerKeurst


  1. I loved the article. Loved her three points about

    1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.

    2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.

    3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.


  2. Must read Khalil Gibran's 'On Children'. He says.. your children are not your children,
    They coem through you but they are not from you....
    we talk of uniqueness of God's creation and yet are upset when they are not like 'someone'..

  3. @Kavi: Yes! Me too!

    @Mannaunty: How true! "They come through you, but are not from you"

  4. I needed to hear (read) that !! Thank u for sharing the article too !!

  5. hey deepa, that was a lovely post... i can so relate to that. i guess it is good for kids to have some 'spirit' and 'spunk' though it makes parenting more challenging! :)

  6. how true!!! I think we parents should not take the child's behaviour as a personal insult too much... i have a strong-willed boy too.. And i realise that in certain hard times in life, he will only have his strong will to carry him forward to his goal... cos Ive been there many times myself...