So far, by God's grace

Sunday, June 1, 2008

How well do you know death?

At around 2:00am last night, I got a call from a friend, telling me his father had passed away. The fact had still not registered completely with him at that time. I was at a loss for words to say to comfort him. I know the family and I know his dad was an amazing man of God, but still, all I could say was "We'll be praying for you all."
I had a hard time getting my sleep back after that. I prayed, argued with God asking "How is this fair?" I cried, I apologised for letting my feelings get ahead of me... I finally said "God, you know how I feel about this. And you obviously know what to do. Just do your job Lord. No one does it better than you!I need to get my sleep now!"Sure enough I was fast asleep in minutes.
But ever since I woke up, I've been thinking about this. I've faced the death of loved ones before. I grieved the death of 3 of my grandparents. I watched, holding her hand as my dearest Ammachy(grandmother) breathed her last. Yet at none of these times did I feel that God was being unfair. Then why do I feel this way for a person I hardly know! I guess it's because in the case of my grandparents, I knew they had lived a full life. They had seen their children grow, marry, and settle down to raise families of their own. They had spent quality time with each of their grandchildren. They had passed on enough of their experiences and values down 2 generations. There's something so comforting in knowing that.
But in my friend's case, his father was younger than my Dad. He had left behind a distraught wife and chidren who were still studying. This makes me ask "Why God? He had so much more to do!" It just struck me now. Are time, duties, relationships etc. viewed in the same way on Earth and in Heaven? Why couldn't it be that the life he lived here was consided "full" in heaven? What if he had done all he was meant to do? hmm... interesting!
Death is something I thought I had a reasonable understanding of. I thought I had experienced enough to be able to offer comfort to someone going through the same. But today was a humbling experience. What's the BIG picture like? Do we know? Will we ever know? Maybe!
I can't face the thought of losing a loved one, especially the ones I mentioned in my lil poem. And there's nothing I can do about it except drill this verse into my head. This is what God says in the Bible:
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
-Isaiah 55:9
AO, I'm sorry I couldn't say more. But know that we are praying for you as you go through this tough time.


  1. Oh SB, this is such a 'you' post. I remember how much you loved your grandma (if its the same one you spoke about) and ya, her mango pickle that you refused to share ;)

  2. Yes Nandu! Same grandma, and yes, her mango pickle... mmmm.... That entire batch is over now. My family does have the recipe but it doesn't come out as good!

    *huuuuug* back to you!!

  3. no matter how much we have experienced it, it is a whole different and unique experience when it happens for another person. nothing we say or do, would erase that feeling or make it change. personally, i run away from situations when i have to say something to someone who has lost someone. i find mailing easier. i cannot speak or say anything.

  4. I have one living grandparent and my immediate family still alive. I am so very close to my family. If anything should happen to them, part of me would die as well. I can't stand the thought of death.

    One of my friends lost her step-father, who was more like a father to her and my heart hurt for her, not being able to imagine what she was going through, the loss....

    We can only be there for one another, to help and support each other in times of need and hopefully to also see the days of laughter as well.

    Life is fair and especially when taken at a young age or with family still needing them ~ that's why we have a network of family and friends, to help us through.

  5. To Mac:
    Ya... mailing or chatting is easier cos you have time to process your thoughts and a little extra time to check if you're saying the right words before it reaches the other person.

    To Aleta:
    Thank you for sharing my feelings. Praise God for family and friends!